Leadership Coaching

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End of Myself!

Yesterday I spoke about being at one’s “Wits’ End”. I defined this as being at a place where one’s wisdom and knowledge in finding answers and solutions to life’s problems seem to have come to an end. We saw how helpless we are in ourselves and that in and of ourselves, our wisdom can come to a complete halt. We, therefore, need to seek wisdom from above.

When you get to your “Wits’ End”, I would suggest you do the following:

1. Turn to your Maker – a.k.a God: This is the one who created you and knows all of you and has an array of solutions. From the story of the storm that we read yesterday, we saw that the sailors, at their “Wits’ End” decided to call on their Maker. They turned to Him and looked only to Him for a solution and they cast their burdens onto Him.

 

2. Repent: You need to come to a point where you admit your shortcomings and become vulnerable enough to admit that you cannot do it all by yourself. Remember, that the Lord’s strength is made perfect in weakness. Once you get to this place, a place or realization of your weakness, you can then see the error of your ways. Once you get to this point, seek the Lord in repentance and ask Him for forgiveness. Then from here, make a decision to not do it on your own again. Change your mind about your behaviors.

 

3. Cry out to GodThe Lord is near to the broken-hearted. When we call upon our Father in heaven, He hears us. However, remember that our sin keeps us away from God and He cannot hear us. We, therefore, need to cry out to Him having repented of our ways and He is ready and willing to help us. When we cry out to God, God does 3 things for us:

 

a. He calms the storm. God will still the storms in your life;

b. He will put the smile back on our face. When you’re at your Wits’ Ends and you see the storm calm, the clouds clear away and the sunshine through; and

c. He will bring you safely to your desired haven. God will always give you a way out. It may not be the solution you desire but it will be the solution that is best for you because He knows what is best for us.

1. Practise Humility:

No matter how high you rise in this world, there will be a time when you realize that you are not God. Life has a way of humbling the best of us. It is sad to note that many a leader have had the grace to start but they rarely have the grace to finish and finish well. In my world, I believe that how I finish is more important than how I start. I have learned humility and realized that as long as there is a God in heaven, I know very little. I have learned to be humble and to seek Him first in everything that I do.

 

2. Lean not on your own understanding:

The education system today prioritizes universal human qualities and intellect. Humanism rejects the validity of transcendental justifications, such as dependence on faith, the supernatural, or divinely revealed truths. Greek philosophy emphasized human reason as the only legitimate source of knowledge. However, this is a lie and there is knowledge that is beyond our understanding. If we want to attain higher levels of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, we must first accept the divine and then learn to release what we don’t understand to God and let Him sort it out for us. I know that this seems weak and easy but it is by far the hardest thing you can ever do. It is not for the faint of heart.

 

My friends, the above are sure ways to smile again and to ensure that the burden is lifted. Follow these and you will experience a sense of freedom. The truth is that many of us are living in denial of the fact that the so-called freedoms we want or desire and espouse are the primary cause of reaching our “Wits’ End”. The truth is that once you cease to orbit around the Creator, you will constantly reach your “Wits’ End” and be truly lost.

Maybe you have no idea where to start this journey or what to do. Perhaps, no one has ever told you about God and you are not aware of His existence. Perhaps, this God of Njeri seems more real than the God I know; He seems to answer questions and show up when called upon. Well, on that, you are right. I am driven by love, and as such, it would be a privilege to introduce you to my God and walk the leadership journey with you and help you birth your destiny.

Reach out to us and we will guide you into the light.

In the meantime, feel free to browse through our website as well as our social media pages on facebookInstagram and twitter.

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Njeri MuchunuEnd of Myself!
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BAD-MOUTHING!

Hello friend,

Let me ask you, have you been in a situation where people talk negatively about you or slander you for no good reason? Even of greater concern to you is that a lot of these people don’t even know you, have never met you, or know nothing about you? How does it feel to you? I am sure it hurts and it hurts a lot. The truth is, as long as we are on this side of eternity, people will hurt you and you will hurt others, either intentionally or otherwise. But this article is not about you hurting others but rather about you being hurt by others and how, as a child of light, you are to respond to it.

I want to be clear here. If they are talking badly (persecuting) about you and your character is in question, then woe unto you because evil people and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. I am not speaking to you. However, if you are being persecuted because you are living a righteous life, and standing for Jesus then continue reading this article. My friend, the world will persecute you if yours is a lifestyle of righteousness. The righteous person is divided, separated from this world. You must earn it by being different. To be a leader worth your salt, you must take a stand. You must be willing to be different! Leadership is not for the faint of heart and if you want acceptance, then my friend, you are not ready to be a leader.

However, there’s a way you can escape persecution. First, don’t live a godly life. Second, don’t desire to lead. Just hobnob with the world and fail to take a stand or be distinctive, and you won’t suffer persecution.

To you who wishes to take a stand and be different, to lead a godly life, remember that enemy is no longer directing persecution to a person’s physical body (though there are parts of the world where this is still happening), but to the ego. He focuses on pride, the desire for acceptance, and the desire for status. The threat is no longer “If you witness, I’ll cut your head off,” no but more like, “If you witness, you might lose your job, your status, your friends, your influence-or someone might think you are strange.” The techniques the enemy uses today have a tremendous effect in a subtle way. He has found that it is very effective to kill the children of light by making them complacent, indolent, intelligent, rich, and socially oriented. The church has watered down its theology to accommodate the world. That is a more successful form of persecution than having all Christians boiled in oil!

So, what am I saying; when you’re different, they will pursue you, watching you like a hawk, trying to find some flaw, some difference in you. And when they find it, they find fodder, and they will use it against you and it’ll make them feel better as they condemn you. I experience this a lot in my life. When I stick my neck above the crowd to espouse a biblical virtue, and the attack is instant. They lie about me and make false accusations. However, I am reminded that the most righteous person who ever lived, Jesus Christ, was crucified on the testimony of false witnesses. So, I expect it. This does not mean it does not hurt, it does, tremendously, but I expect it. It is almost inevitable. The more vocal you are about your faith, the more likely you are to find people who are opposed to it. How you choose to respond when people take jabs at you is profoundly important. Your response can set the tone for meaningful conversation and increase your influence.

Take the following steps to deal with persecution, when it happens.

  1. Pray for those who persecute you:

    Yes, I said it. This is the best thing to do in every situation. Pray as if your life depends on it, because in reality, most of the time, it does. Your relationship with the Lord will determine how you handle the rest of this situation. At times, you will want to lash out at the person slandering you. Resist that temptation. Instead, pray for that person(s). Yes, I know. Praying for the person persecuting you can be difficult but my friend, if for no other reason, it will soften your heart for that person, and you will be able to face them with grace instead of anger and pain.

  2. Let God fight your battle

    This is by far the hardest thing you will have to do. To be still and let God fight for you. You will be tempted to correct the gossip you hear about yourself. Don’t be tempted to defend yourself. God will send others to do that. By virtue of what I do, I find that there is a lot of incorrect information about me out there, some of which even makes me laugh out loud because it was so outlandish while others are blatant attacks. Because of this, I have come to fully understand the verse that says The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I have come to the understanding, more than ever before that there was and there is nothing I can say to change people’s minds about me. So, I let it go and I let God.

    3. Realize it’s a blessing.

    What? How can you even contemplate that being persecuted is a blessing? You can! And as a leader, you must! When you are holding steadfast to God and His truth, letting Him guide you through difficult situations, you may very well find yourself in the slander spotlight. When this happens, trust these verses – Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me... Our faith grows when we watch God work it all out and see Him get all the glory for all He has done! What a blessing!

    Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behaviors in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

    4.Believe the truth will come to light.

    My friend, I know if you are going through all this, it is not easy and I am very sorry. Just lean into Jesus. I know my saying this does not seem like I am saying much. The truth is, He, above all, completely understands. In the end, whether on Earth or in heaven, the truth will all come to light.

I experienced a situation years back, and I chose not to defend myself but just let it go. I mean, I have quite a number of experiences in this area. Many years later, I received a call from the main perpetrator. This person expressed complete sorrow for having said what was said and asked for forgiveness. I was at a loss for words because time had passed and I had even forgotten about the ordeal. That said, the person was asking me to forgive them and that they needed to hear me say to them that they are forgiven. It was one of the most memorable experiences. I was very thankful to God for this, that even though it took years, the truth became evident because God was working it all out. Because of all this, relationships began to be mended where division had once resided.

He will fight for you! You can trust that!

My friend, the world is falling apart and the leaders required in this season need to have a firm foundation and they need to be able to face the headwinds that will come with their leadership. You cannot make it on your own. You need God. However, understand this, that the world hates Jesus. Oh, not the baby in the manger or the One who healed the sick or fed the multitudes. It hates the Jesus who said He came “to destroy the works of the devil.” Jesus came against corruption, adultery, idolatry, lies, drunkenness, abortion, homosexuality, murder, pornography, and so on. He came against pride, racism, and hatred. For that, the world hates Him. And it will hate you.

Jesus came to condemn and expose their sin, and they hated Him. The world still hates Him and the things He stands against. It’s no wonder He is the greatest leader what ever lived. He did not come to be loved by the world but lead and change the world for the better. The world hates you for the life they see you living and the Lord you serve. You will find yourself the butt of jokes.

My friend, remember, persecution will only increase. Don’t sit in the corner feeling sorry for yourself. You must remember who you are: a child of The King. Release love to those who persecute you and do good to them. Be like God and love them. These people are blind. They don’t see. They don’t understand. We need to treat our persecutors as God has treated us. Come to grips with it: as a leader, one who follows the greatest leader who ever lived, Jesus Christ, you are going to be persecuted.

My ask of you is to seek the Lord to teach you to be different. Don’t let the world intimidate you. Don’t live by political correctness. Stand tall and do not be afraid.

If you find that you are easily and completely swayed and fold because of the rejection of others, it is clear you do not know who you are. It is imperative that you find your identity and your value. Without knowing who you are, it is very difficult to withstand the persecution that will come.

If you need help with knowing who you are, reach out to us and it would be an honor and a privilege to walk this journey of self-discovery with you.

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Njeri MuchunuBAD-MOUTHING!
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Leadership 101: Demands of Leadership

Hello Friend,

Let me start by asking a question, what does it mean to be a leader? Let’s go back to the basics. In my view, and as John Maxwell rightly puts it, leadership is influence nothing more nothing less and it starts with leading myself. What does that even mean Njeri? We are very good at sounding smart and intellectual but have very little substance. We are smart and have posh jobs but when asked questions that have depth and that concern our very beings, we come back blank.

So again, I will ask, what is the true meaning of leadership?

I believe that Leadership is the capacity to influence others through inspiration, not manipulation. Leaders are agents of change. They do not conform to the patterns of the world and many are the times that they are misunderstood. Most will follow leaders, not because they want to be leaders themselves and wish to make an impact but because of what they get from them. Position, status, association, and the list goes on. Many people look for leaders and attach themselves to them in the hope that they can take what this leader has and become them. They are in it to feed, not to grow as people but to feed. They hope that somehow, by extension, they can get the sort of influence the leader has.

My friends, I am here to tell you that there is no shortcut to receiving the crown. In order to be a leader worth your salt, you must be ready to go through the cross and take responsibility. Leadership demands a lot of a person. Finding something worth doing by yourself is one of the most important traits of leadership. If you need people to like you and approve of you, then you are not a leader yet. You must be willing to go alone. Leaders give people’s lives meaning and that is why they follow you. This is when they find a sense of significance in their own lives.

Leadership does not begin with people. It begins with you. It begins with how you think. Leadership begins with your belief system which determines your philosophy of life. True leadership is self-discovery and it begins with an individual discovering something about themselves. Until you are introduced to yourself, you will never become a true leader. When you meet yourself, you will always be afraid of yourself because you will not agree with who or what you have become. You keep telling yourself – that’s not me and you do this for a long long time.

You are convinced that you are useless and they (culture, the world, others) use you to do what they want you to do and you obey them because you don’t know who you were born to be. I was the same. I was trapped. When I discovered who I am, I started to dictate my own value and I discovered that the world needs me! If you discover this, you become significant.

My friend, do you want to be a leader? Are you committed to do whatever it takes to leave a legacy by leading yourself?

Why don’t you give me the privilege of introducing you to yourself?

Reach out to us and I will be more than happy to walk this journey with you.

Remember my friend, that your thinking is your life.

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Njeri MuchunuLeadership 101: Demands of Leadership
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LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!

Where are we headed as a society; as a people? I saw a number of articles on the mainstream media this weekend, all speaking to sexual freedom and how Christians are stifling people’s freedom of expression based on their high moral ground of sexual purity. To a certain extent, I don’t blame them because many Christians are preaching water and drinking wine. I digress! I mean, there is nothing else that seems to be spoken about more these days except who is sleeping with who (fornication), whose husband is sleeping with whose wife (adultery), which two men and in a relationship (homosexuality), and so on and so forth. That society and people should be allowed to express themselves as they wish to in these times that we are living in. However, it is not acceptable for me to speak boldly about my convictions as a woman of God because I make people feel uncomfortable. What about what makes me uncomfortable? What about my rights?

It is also rather surprising to note how fornication has been normalized as though nothing is wrong with it. That it is acceptable for a couple to have sex, live together, and not be married, as long as they both agree and are consenting adults. It is even worse that married men and married women are sleeping with other married men and women and for some reason, it seems to be acceptable. It is a known secret…..ssshhhh. It is no longer frowned upon. In fact, I am sure as I write this, many people are wondering why I would write about this issue. What pray-tell does it have to do with leadership?

Everything. Because my friend, everything rises and falls on leadership!

Leadership begins with self. It begins with me leading myself first. This speaks to character and morality is key to character. Rather than asking, “What is right?” or “What will produce the best results?”, I usually ask myself “What type of person should I become?” I believe strongly that if I mold my character more and more on God’s character, this will increasingly lead to me doing the right thing. Therefore, my friends, to be a leader worth my salt, I must be a person of character thereby observing some moral codes of engagement. Black is black and white is white. There is no grey area. We are living in times when our so-called leaders don’t stand for anything and are allowing everything to pass in the name of being liked and accepted. As a leader, why would you want to be accepted? Your role is not to be accepted but rather to speak Truth, in love, for the sake of the people you influence and society at large.

So, what am I saying? I am saying that fornication is wrong in whatever form we have chosen to call it. We sanitize it by calling it pre-marital sex, we are partners, we are two consenting adults, and so on a so forth. I am here to state categorically that as a leader, I will never tell anyone to engage in any form of sexual interaction before marriage. I know this may make me unpopular, but that’s something I am willing to live with. Why you may ask? ‘Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will be become one flesh.”’ When it talks about becoming ‘one in body’ or ‘one flesh’ it doesn’t mean our flesh is fused. It means your whole self is involved. Your whole self is given away. Your whole self, your personality, your identity is bonded to another person. Sex is not just a physical act that leaves the ‘real you’ unaffected. It profoundly changes you. The pain caused when sexual purity is lost or when one person cheats on another is profound. I do not believe that this pain is experienced only by Christians. I believe this pain is experienced by all…..look at Hollywood if you need an example. This means that this is principle applies all around. If it only affected Christians, then only Christians would feel its devastating effects. However, everyone in the world who plays around with it is deeply wounded.

Too many of our foolish intellectual leaders are attempting to salvage their so-called “sexual revolution” by encouraging “safe sex,” i.e. sex with a protective condom. In reality, the only “safe sex” is that between two persons who are married and faithful to one another. We who believe Scripture must not hesitate to remind ourselves and others that the curse of God is upon those who commit sexual sin. Remember my friends, that the wages of sin is ultimately death. It spells spiritual death now, and eternal separation from God in the world to come, regardless of the present physical repercussions or lack of them.

I spoke about the media above. The very irresponsible mass media, in particular television and modern popular music, treats the dangers of sexual impurity and immorality mostly as if they did not exist. Dramatic presentations have movie heroes like James Bond hopping from bed to bed with one beautiful woman after another, seemingly without consequences. Many young people have already discovered, to their frightened dismay, that this is how babies are conceived (though it is seldom so in the movies). Song lyrics make unlawful sexual encounters sound wistfully romantic. However, they totally ignore the real-life implications of such actions. America’s spiraling illegitimacy rate attests to the fact that conception and birth are still the very natural result of heterosexual intimacy. Abortion, with its mental and physical scarring, is the stop-gap measure invented to rid our lives of these children conceived in “one night stand, non-committal relationships“.

And then there are the diseases! We must not forget those diseases! Dear friend, the only way we are going to put a halt to this AIDS epidemic and all related sexually transmitted diseases is if we respect the law of the Lord and limit sexual activity to the normal, male-female, marriage relationship. We must know, even today, that “he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18). If we are guilty of this sin, we are not only transgressing an ordinance of Heaven, but we are hurting ourselves, potentially destroying our own bodies!

I think it is time we called things out for what they are. Why are we, as leaders remaining silent as our children get lost and caught up in a society that does not protect them? Why, as parents, are we silent as though we are afraid of telling our children what is right and what is wrong? What is up with this new thing I hear modern-day parents keep saying – as long as they are happy! What does that even mean? Then, when your child is caught up in some sexual scandal with some old man or old woman, you are all up in arms crucifying these people. I thought that what mattered is that your child is happy! But are they happy, really and truly? Did you take the time to speak to your child when you had authority over them about who they are, first in Christ and second, in society.? Had you spoken to them about the dangers of promiscuity? Did you, yourself, set an example for them to follow?

My dear friend, we cannot stay silent as we watch our society fall on its knees for lack of morals. We can no longer stay silent as mass media steals away the innocent minds of our children in the name is of being liberal! Like I always say, responsibility comes at a price. Are you willing to pay the price for the sake of this generation?

Reach out to us here and we would be more than happy to walk this journey of leadership with you.

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Njeri MuchunuLET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!
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I AM BROKEN!

Hello Friend,

I am broken. Broken, at how many lives are being lost each day. Broken, at the number of dreams buried. Broken, at how casually leaders are living each day as though things are ok. Broken, that the influencers in our nation are caught up in matters that are not changing society for the better; as long as they are ok, it does not matter. Broken, because we seem to be missing the point of this life we have been given. Broken, because we keep saying one day we will do this or the other. Broken, because leaders are in so much pain yet are afraid of getting healing because of pride and fear of being vulnerable before another. Broken, as people tell me that I will be back, only for them to leave this world permanently! Broken, because Christ paid such a high price for our victory yet we are living as though we are defeated! My heart is broken.

I am broken. My constant desire is to work with other broken leaders so that together we can unapologetically leave a legacy by leading ourselves first and then leaving this world better than we found it. Leaders who are not ashamed to face themselves for the greater good. Leaders who are ready to put their pride aside and listen for once. Let me ask you a question, what breaks your heart? My friend, knowing what breaks your heart is also knowing what you should do with your life, and how you should be leading others.

Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that I am “broken” in the sense that I am rendered useless by my imperfections. No. The opposite is actually true. I am made more useful by my brokenness, and I discovered my greatest Purpose through my pain and suffering. When I look around at the kind of leaders who are influencing the world today, my heart breaks. Where are they directing our children to? Why has everything, even moral corruption, become ok. I hear well-meaning parents saying, I will let my children do as they please as long as they are happy! When did life become about happiness and who determines this? When did lack of discipline lead to happiness? I sit down and I wonder what more I can do. This is the burden that led me and continues to inspire me to do what I do today, helping leaders know who they are, why they are here and what they can do to leave the world better than they found it.

A.W. Tozer is often credited with a quote that I truly love. It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply. Yes, yes, yes, I know what you are thinking. God loves us too much to hurt us. However, God does not hurt us the way man does. He breaks us so that He can make us. The book of Hebrews says that the Lord disciplines those He loves. If you have experienced disciplining in any form, you know that this process is not fun nor painless. We tend to think of Christianity as a painless system by which we can escape the penalty of past sins and get to heaven at last. Not so. The devil, things, and people being what they are, it is necessary for God to use the hammer, the file, and the furnace to cleanse us.

My friend, great leadership doesn’t start with a great education, although that is incredibly valuable. It certainly also does not start with a particular position within an organization. Great leadership often starts with a broken heart. Drive, determination, and productivity are valuable. Talent and charisma are great assets for leaders to possess not to forget the vital role relationships play in the path to success. However, the truth is none of those things are as powerful as a heart, broken before God and broken over the condition of something and burdened to fix it and make it better.

Many people ask me, why would God allow this or the other to happen? If He is such a good God, why then is there so much suffering and pain. The answer my friend has nothing to do with God but everything to do with us. Our sin separates us from God and because of this we feel as though God does not care. Sin and God cannot co-exist. Additionally, you must believe that all things work together for good. ALL THINGS! Even the death of a loved one; it all works together for good. The reason we never see the good is because we are so focused on the issue/pain instead of being focused on God. So it isn’t true that God causes evil to come into our lives for no purpose. Rather, it is that he uses the suffering we endure for our good, to prepare and shape our character so that we’re up to the task of leadership. Leadership is a painful and lonely journey and unless you are well prepared for it, I assure you, it will break you. As a leader, you will suffer weakness, not if, but when and if you have Christ in you, you will experience His strength, learn the lessons and be able to keep moving forward.

My friends, the world’s greatest influencers aren’t merely rich and famous. Those who have the most impact on any generation are leaders acquainted with suffering; who own their brokenness.

I have a long way to go and a lot to learn. I am on a journey and I have made significant progress by the Grace of God. I came to the understanding a long time ago that it isn’t my strength that brings success or influence. It is actually God’s strength, made perfect in my weaknesses that can profoundly affect the leaders and the world around me.

To any leader reading this, my greatest encouragement to you is to embrace your pain. Own your brokenness. There is no shame nor condemnation. And reach out to us. Come crawling, exhausted, beaten down but come. This is a safe haven where you can unburden without any judgment. Don’t remain silent any longer. You have so much to offer the world, you just don’t know it or see it. You can make things right and rise up again and leave a legacy for your children and the world at large.

Victory comes after our momentary defeats, and though crying lasts through the night, joy comes in the morning.

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Njeri MuchunuI AM BROKEN!
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Friends Forever

Hello Friend!

Do you have friends or are you in search of a friend and you are not even aware of it? Who would you tell me is your friend and what are some of the characteristics of a true friend?

Many will say that a friend is someone who understands you, and if they don’t, they try to. A friend wants to know what you’re all about and what you need. A friend is somebody who is there for you when they can be, but also sets boundaries when they need to. Many things make someone a good friend, and the definition of what makes a true friendship is, I believe, mostly based on our emotions and how we feel about the relationship. Don’t get me wrong, emotions have their place in each and every relationship but that is not what true friendship should be based on – feelings!

Some friendships start because of shared interests. Others grow from proximity or common life circumstances. Friendships can be based on many things. But there is something uniquely special about a friendship based on the Word of God.

There are guidelines and principles that can help us excel in relationships and to understand people. I will share with you 5 elements of true friendship which I hope will help you evaluate your friends and friendships.

 

  1. A friend should be a source of encouragement and lifting

Proverbs 27:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 17:17 also tells us that a friend loves at all times and a brother is born out of adversity.

The above two Proverbs tell us of the types of friendships we need to invest in. If any of your friendships do not culminate in any form of sharpening, that friendship is useless. There are many friends and friendships that do not serve us. There are people with whom we spend numerous amounts of time with and at the end of the day, we leave them feeling so empty. We feel so drained and as though they have completely sucked the life out of us. These types of friends are only available when they need something or in certain circumstances. If someone is truly your friend, their commitment to you should not depend on circumstances. A friend should be a source of encouragement and lifting. My friend, how much time are you wasting with people who you believe are your friends.

 

  1. How many friends do you have?

The same book of Proverbs cautions us and tells us that a man of many companions may come to ruin.

How many friends do you have? As a society, we pride ourselves on having very many friends and the truth is, they will be there as long as things in your life are going well. At the first sight of trouble, how many of them do you believe will stay? How many people do you share your life with? I don’t mean acquaintances; I mean true friends? If your life, my friend, is not uncommon to the extent that it will drive certain people away, then it means you have no values and principles. Every person who calls themselves your friend should be able to see the template of their life in you by the activities you engage in. If you hang out with drunkards, my friends, be sure that this is the template people will connect to you because of the vibe that you give out. We are living in a world where we think that because everyone is comfortable with us, it makes us a friend – no. This means that you have no standards and therefore something is wrong.

 

  1. A friend is someone who you allow to influence your life

If you are afraid of being controversial, you must forget about being a Leader. It takes courage to be controversial and exceptional in life. The reason we have many friends is because we want to agree with everybody. Many of us are afraid of defining our standards because we are afraid our standards will rob us of certain people. Remember this, that a friend is someone who you allow to influence your life. Faithful is the discomfort you feel from the correction of a friend; one who loves you enough to tell you the truth. It will sting your ego, yes. But it will uplift you if you listen to it and make the necessary changes.

 

  1. A friend will correct and challenge you.

A true friend is someone who should be willing to risk their friendship with you so that you may excel in life. This would mean that if after telling them the truth, I lose out on the friendship, so be it. My friends, it is better to lie with a wise enemy than a foolish friend. Some of us hate the people that can correct us; someone who has the courage to challenge us. However, this is a true friend. Remember, a person who partners with you to do evil, will do evil against you.

 

  1. The apex of true friendship is sacrifice.

How much are you willing to inconvenience yourself to see other people excel? Anyone who cannot inconvenience themselves for the sake of your friendship is not your friend. Be wary of joining or being in groups of people who are going nowhere. You become softened to sin and find that your standards will start bending.

 

As you read this, you may be searching and scheming through your life and find that you really do not have a friend, let alone friends. Don’t be disheartened. Every one of us has a need for close relationships. However, be not deceived, bad company corrupts good morals. A man without standards is like a city with no watch.

As a leader, you have an assignment on this earth that you must fulfil within the time that you are here on earth. This means that you employ discipline in all facets of your life including your relationships and friendships. I say this because people are wonderful, and we were created for relationships, but they can also be a great source of distraction and time-wasting. Focus on your Maker and ask Him to send the right friends your way. Not good ones, rather right ones; the ones He knows you need and not the ones that you want.

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Excuses, Excuses, Excuses= Mediocrity!

Recently, I’ve been having a series of thoughts on the subject of mediocrity and what being mediocre really means. In recent weeks I’ve had conversations that in various forms have raised the topic of mediocrity. As a nation, I also feel we have become a mediocre society where we never seem to strive for excellence in anything that we do. It got me thinking deeply — What does mediocrity really mean? What does it mean to be mediocre? Are you mediocre?

Let’s face it. All of us believe that we are better than others. At least in some ways. “I’m definitely better driver than most of the others. I’m much better manager. I’m really good parent. I’m a great listener and always annoyed when I need to constantly talk so others see it.”

Considering how quickly the world around us changes the best way to see whether you are mediocre or not is to look at how you respond to the changes. Do you embrace change and constantly learn to keep up with the world? Or do you just sit back and wait to see what will happen to you? If the latter applies, you are most likely mediocre.

Mediocre people sort of give up on improving and even on giving their best. They just plow through the day doing what needs to be done but without much interest and with no intention of going above and beyond. Doing just the bare minimum and not giving your best is a strong indicator, but what really seals the deal of your mediocrity is when you don’t give your best and you don’t mind. It just doesn’t bother you.

If you find yourself in any of the categories below, you need to find out why you have chosen this path for your life. Remember mediocrity never got anyone anywhere. You want to do great exploits but what are you doing today to ensure that you are not ordinary, you are different, you are a man or woman of faith?

Doing the Minimum

Are you one of those people who just want to do the least that they can to get by? This may be in school, at the workplace, and even in your spiritual life.

There was a rich young ruler who with every question, was looking to establish the minimum requirement that would lead to eternal life. He asked Jesus, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?” When Jesus told him to “keep the commandments,” he immediately asked, “Which ones?” When Jesus listed a few of them, he said, “All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?” Finally, Jesus said, “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” This caused him to turn away.

He was focused on doing the minimum and thus his interest remained. However, when he learned that there was no “minimum” – that he had to be willing to give up what he loved and give his life over to Jesus completely, he left. Are you willing to do what it takes and pay the price to achieve your dreams? Then stop looking to do the bare minimum.

Looking for Loopholes

Do you find yourself looking for excuses to justify certain sins, immoral acts, omissions, not taking action that may cause conflict, etc? Do you look for “loopholes” that will allow you to do what you want to do? For instance, the world today has normalized fornication and states that if a couple is in love, it is fine for them to commit fornication. Is this the truth though?

This was the attitude of the lawyer who tested Jesus. His question was similar to the one asked by the rich young ruler “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He was told that he needed to love his neighbor as himself. This man had apparently not been doing this because he tried “to justify himself” by asking, “And who is my neighbor?” I mean, you and I know that your neighbor is the person next to you or in close proximity to you. The lawyer was trying to find a loophole that would allow him to not show love to everyone he came across.

Instead of using “love” as a justification for fornication, we should honor marriage. “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge

Remaining Static

Have you become content and confident in your current condition and fail to grow? We are all expected to grow. We cannot remain in the same condition over time and expect to achieve anything. If you struggle with a certain temptation, you need to make certain changes in your life to eliminate the said temptation.

Seeking Questions, Not Answers

Have you become comfortable or think that maturity is measured by questions, rather than answers? Many believe that imagining questions for which there is no answer is an indicator of maturity. As we grow in understanding, we should be ready to “give an answer” , rather than propose an unending number of questions that cannot be answered with certainty. It is good for us to dig deeper and deeper into the truth as we grow, but we must also “refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels”.

Timidity

The last way in which we must not be mediocre is in timidity. Timidity is having a lack of courage or confidence. It might sound odd, but timidity is a form of pride. When you’re timid, you’re afraid of what people will think of you if you fail. You think that if you fail, people will think of you differently or your reputation will be damaged. Failure doesn’t mean, “It’s over.” It means, “Try again; do better.” When we’re timid and become afraid of what others will think if you fail or just purely afraid of failure itself, you are putting yourself in a snare—it’s a trap! Unless you trust in God, there’s no way out. Make your plans and act on them; God will bring you through it. It may not be exactly as you envision it, but He will get you through it.

From a very young age, all I’ve known is hard work and I’ve seen its value over the years. All I’ve been doing since leaving employment is working hard toward my calling, my deployment. Perhaps it’s because of my up-bringing and my training as a lawyer where there was zero tolerance for incompetence. Things seem to have changed these days. To me, if you’re incompetent and mediocre, why bother to do it at all? That might seem harsh to some of you, but mediocrity doesn’t get you anywhere and when you’re mediocre, you just get in other peoples’ way. This generation seems to settle for mediocre work, mediocre education, mediocre relationships (friendship, family, and romance, marriage), and even mediocre faith.

Martin Luther said: The maid who sweeps her kitchen is doing the will of God just as much as the monk who prays—not because she may sing a Christian hymn as she sweeps but because God loves clean floors. The Christian shoemaker does his Christian duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes because God is interested in good craftsmanship. These [vocations] are the masks of our Lord God, behind which He wants to be hidden and to do all things.

Whatever you do, you ought to do it from the soul—as if it is an integral part of your life and soul as a human being. You are therefore not called to mediocrity, but to greatness—to be the greatest at everything you do to the best of your ability. Again, I emphasize that I do not mean that you are expected you to be an absolute expert in all that you do, but God does want you to be your best because it will only aid in your growth as a human being, and doing your best brings glory to God and it assures you of success and joy.

After reading this article, have you realized that perhaps you may be living in mediocrity? Would you like to change this and start living your very best life as a leader? Reach out to us here and we would be more than happy to guide you on the steps you can take towards achieving excellence.

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Wait on God

I don’t know anyone who enjoys waiting. However, waiting is what we are sometimes called to do, and like many things that seem counter-intuitive to our human nature, waiting is sometimes what is needed and what is best. Over the years, I’ve had to learn the concept of waiting on the Lord the hard way. After many failings and difficult lessons and finally becoming a constant work-in-progress, I wanted to write this blog to encourage you.

In our fast-paced world of increasing industry and global disruptions, artificial intelligence, and global expansion, all combined with a desire to be not only the best in the world but the best for the world, how does a leader navigate through this sea of activity? Being a “Best for the World Leader,” it is implied that the world, and the people in it, are better off because you lived.

We get caught up in what society tells us that we should always be advancing, moving upward, or making progress. When those things don’t happen, we tend to become discouraged, even to feel defeated, when what we needed to be doing is exactly what we have been doing, holding our position, enduring. It is often no small feat to be able to do so. In fact, in the words of Christ, “it is the one who endures to the end who will be saved”.

Waiting is not glamorous. Regardless of where you are serving or to what you have been called to do, there may be times when you are asked to wait, to endure, to bear up under. It is important that you do so. Most of us would naturally want to get out from under our difficulties or hardships. It may be a work situation or a relationship that we have had to endure. There are times our circumstances or situation seems entirely unjust. But we are called to wait. But wait for what and until when?

If we take the example of Habakkuk who is known as the praying and waiting prophet we learn a few things. Habakkuk sought the Lord saying “How long, O Lord, must I call for help?” This was a lament, a desperate cry for help in the midst of great trouble. Habakkuk’s words were a complaint; he had major issues to take up with God. I suspect you do as well if you are honest. Habakkuk was attentive to what was going on around him. Despite his prayers, he saw violence, injustice, and wrongdoing everywhere. God’s law appeared to be helpless; it did not seem to work, and the wrongdoers seem to have gotten the upper hand.

Apparently, Habakkuk had repeatedly called upon God to act, to intervene, to set things right, to just do something. Yet it seemed that God had not heard him and God would not act to save. Finally, out of a deep sense of frustration and confusion, he cries out to God, “How long, O Lord, must I call for your help, but you do not listen?!” There is nothing worse than speaking but not being heard, than addressing another who doesn’t listen or respond.

In Scripture, to wait is to be active, to do something, something very important. In fact, it is the most important thing we do, since waiting is an expression of faith, of being open and receptive to God, to God’s action, to God’s voice, to God’s will, to God’s answer.

To wait is to be patient, which literally means “to suffer,” or to be acted upon rather than acting, to be receptive to the action of others. To wait and to be patient is to trust that God is at work even if we can’t see or understand what God is doing at any given moment of time.

So, what are we waiting for?

We are waiting for God. Faith is a willingness to trust that God knows best and will bring our lives and the world to a good completion. This is God’s vision for the world, what God has promised, and what we, by faith, trust will surely come in God’s good time, and in God’s good way.

And here we are, waiting for God, wondering together, “How long, O Lord?”

The hard truth is, we don’t know. We must trust that God knows how long and what he is doing. Contrary to many skeptics, our faith is not wishful thinking. Our faith rests upon something solid, something firm, and something strong enough to sustain it. Our faith rests upon God’s sure and certain promises spoken in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Martin Luther said, “Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace, so sure and certain that the believer would stake his or her life on it.” Moreover, he said, “Faith is a divine work in us which changes us and makes us to be born anew of God.”

Our world is changing at lightning speed. Conventional wisdom would set our priorities to strive to keep up with the latest information, technology, and intelligence. It is uncomfortable and counter-intuitive in this fast-paced, rapidly changing world to “Wait on the Lord.” The wisdom, knowledge, and direction gained from the Lord through waiting is counter-intuitive to most leadership models, but it is exactly what is necessary to lead with confidence as we strive to be Best for the World Leaders who stand out from the rest.

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What’s in It For Me?

Being wrapped up in oneself is not new. This attitude has been around for 6,000 years, and we human beings have made a habit of it. It seems that being overly preoccupied with self is a growing part of post-modern culture. We find that God foretold this “love of self” as one of the outcomes of a world gone wild—a world of peril and conflict where man’s selfishness will lead to his global demise.

Many of the times when we are confronted with change, most people tune in to their favorite internal radio station: WIIFM–What’s In It For Me?

Every good marketer knows that if a product is ever going to sell, the marketer has to answer the WIIFM question well. I know you intuitively understand this. The only reason you, a consumer will ever buy a product (whether it’s a coaching program, laundry detergent, or a laptop) is that you believe it will make your life better. You believe the value of the product matches or exceeds its price point.

To accelerate the WIIFM, marketers create discontent with what you have. Your current shirt (phone, fridge, or car) is not good enough anymore. It is too old, too slow, too faded, or too clunky and instead, you need a new one that’s faster, brighter, sleeker, and better. So, you buy a new one and all your problems are solved. Until next year. Then the manufacturers introduce a better version to the market and what you just bought is not too old, too slow, too faded, or too clunky. And the cycle repeats itself.

You are left feeling perpetually discontent and if not careful, broke. Nothing is ever good enough for long. And the discontent makes you feel empty. No job has quite delivered what you hoped for. Even your friendships can get old fast, well, what have they done for you lately. No church will be good enough, no group will be good enough and God will seem only as good as He has been to you lately.

If WIIFM has become your spiritual filter, watch out. Consumer culture has infiltrated our spiritual lives. We are always asking, what do I get by submitting to God? What’s the upside of humbly obeying God’s will? If I do something this hard, I’d better get something out of it! If I give up something that’s fundamental to my joy and fulfillment, I sure hope I get something in return. We’re all guilty of thinking this way. Have you ever read Psalm 37:4 and thought, I’ll delight myself in the Lord, and then I’ll get the desires of my heart? No, we usually focus more on getting what we want than on delighting ourselves in the Lord.

My friends, do you want to put to death the emptiness you feel each time? If you want to beat emptiness, find a mission that’s bigger than you. As long as you make life about you, you will experience one round of emptiness after another. I know what you are thinking – “Njeri, like everything worthwhile in life, this idea is very easy to understand but very difficult to live out. Virtually everything inside of me is telling me – if you don’t look out for me, who will?” You have filtered all your experiences; your learning, your relationships, and everything that’s come into your life through your own eyes.

I believe everyone has the potential to look outside of themselves – to find and fulfill a greater mission (Purpose, calling). There is a desire in each of us that calls us to want more, know more, and be more. You, my friend, are no different. You are searching for meaning. As you grow older something speaks to you from within you telling you that life is short and your search for meaning becomes a high priority.

If this is how you feel, then you are ripe to stop making YOU (WIIFM) your mission. A true calling is never about the person being called. It is always about helping others. A calling moves us from the center of everything in our world to a channel through which good things come. When you are called, you have an important role to play but it’s never about you.

Your life will never be the same once you know what you are called to do and are working to fulfill it every day.

You may be asking, Njeri, how then do I discover my Purpose/ calling mission in life? Join me next week as we step into this subject of calling.

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Corrupt Heart!

Each time I write an article about a leadership challenge, I look at it from a personal perspective and how I can first purify my own heart on the said issue. My mantra is, don’t go removing the speck in another’s eye before checking for the log in your own eye. I am not saying I am perfect – no, not at all. None is righteous – but I am, by God’s grace striving to be the salt of the earth.

Stories of corruption in our country have become the norm. I mean, we have become so corrupt that we have lost all feeling. We have become such a sick people and we are paying the price for being corrupt with the lives of our children and fellow men.

But where does this corruption really begin? If we know where it begins then it is easy to see it for what it is and then work on finding a solution. Does the life or heart of man become corrupted first?

Having worked in law enforcement, seen first-hand the rot in this nation, and working tirelessly to put in place systems that will curb the vice, I am fully convinced that corruption is a matter of the heart. No matter how many laws are implemented, unless the change is from within a person, then all our works are of no consequence.

There is an inner conflict that is present in every person. The conflict or battle is the tension that exists between what is right, and what we want – our desires. We find that we regularly want things that are not right. Our desires and our values do not always match. Unless the ignorant and hardened heart of man is changed, then there is no fixing this vice. My friends, all trouble starts from the heart. Our hearts are sick. People always think that man’s head is messed up, but I say no, it is the heart that is messed up.

If a man wants to change his conduct, his heart must first be changed. I can give good reasons to people who do not believe in reasons for the existence of God and they respond by saying “this sounds very reasonable”. I can then tell them the reason that the Lord is the Savior. Again, they respond by saying that this sounds very reasonable. But this is not enough to make them believe. Man’s head is not hardened in nature; his heart is. We refuse to believe in that which does not serve our selfish desires.

Corruption is just a symptom. The core of the problem is a hardened heart. I am not saying that the person’s actions are not wrong in themselves, what I am saying here is that the core of the problem is a hardened heart that is driven by its own lustful desires of what it wants. Therefore, the heart must first become right before the action can be corrected. It is useless to deal with the symptom. The only way to cure the problem is to deal with the source.

Let me give an example. We all can admit that the right thing to do is exercise. But my heart wants/desires to eat pizza, sit on the couch, and watch a movie. I acknowledge that it is right to invest for my future – short term pain, long term gain. But my heart desires a new cell phone with the latest features. On the surface, this inner conflict may seem like nothing more than a slight annoyance. It can be easily dismissed as a personal quirk or a minor inconsistency in our character. This struggle can lead to some humorous situations. You may tell your children that it is not good to eat junk food late at night, but on that same evening, they will see you enjoying a bowl of ice cream after the usual dining hours. You might be able to dismiss that incident or similar demonstrations of your inner struggle with a laugh, but as time passes, we find that this annoying inner conflict reveals something deeply troubling about ourselves. We tend to trade what is best for cheap imitations of true satisfaction. We settle for temporary thrills when eternal value is available.

Have you ever noticed that some of our greatest disappointments come when we get exactly what we want? Let me share an example of what I mean.

Omolo has been saving money for years. He finally gets his driver’s license, and he is ready to buy his first car. Each one of his paychecks has been placed in a special account, and he finally gets to acquire what his heart has desired for years. He considered the day he bought his first car as one of the memorable moments of his life. However, within weeks of that day, the elation that Omolo experienced turned to disillusion and disappointment as he realized the costs associated with purchasing gas, paying for oil changes, and acquiring insurance. Furthermore, he is starting to suspect that the car of his dreams is not what he expected, as he visits mechanic after mechanic, trying to find a solution to the electrical problem.

Omolo received exactly what he wanted, but he was left feeling disappointed and empty.

Many of the things the heart desires might be perfectly acceptable. I like German cars, cell phones, watching movies etc. By themselves, these things are not inherently bad. However, when my desire for things consumes me to the level where I have to lie, steal, coerce to get ahead then I must stop and check my heart.

I am fully convinced that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” especially corruption. It’s root – a corrupt heart. Notice that the Bible does not say that money is evil, but rather it warns that the disposition of our hearts can be changed when we love money. Money is not evil; in fact it can be a very helpful tool. We use money to buy food and clothes. We can use money to advance God’s Kingdom and to bring relief to those who have been wounded and are in pain in our world. But even though money can be a useful tool, our hearts are constantly led astray by this gift.

The problem is not that money is bad, but that our hearts are so easily corrupted. We can begin to love gifts that God has given more than people. To worship the created and not the Creator.

My friends, corruption reveals the disposition of our hearts and thus we need to look inside ourselves, work on our hearts, and our desires if we are to see healing in this world.

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