personal development

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IT’S NOT MY FAULT!

Hello, Friend!

I am resident in a world that refuses to take any responsibility. “The devil made me do it. My spouse made me do it. It’s my boss’s fault.” On and on it goes.

Do you want to know one of the hardest three-word statements to make? “I am wrong.”

It’s so easy to point out the wrong in others. It’s so easy to want it to be someone else’s fault. It’s so easy to get critical and cynical and caught up in our limited perspectives. But boy is it hard to see our own flaws. Where we went wrong. What we need to own.

I continually watch myself on this – not blaming others and taking responsibility.

People who don’t want to take responsibility for themselves blame other people for their feelings, thoughts, choices, actions, and inactions. The truth is if you’re stuck in a mindset of “It’s so unfair and they owe me” or “I’m this way because of what they did to me,” then you’re actually part of the problem.

Let me share a short story with you:

I remember a time many years ago when I thought all of my problems were caused by other people or circumstances I couldn’t control. One day I was praying aggressively for God to change my husband. I was giving it everything I had, crying out for God to ‘fix’ him! In my heart, I heard God say, ‘Excuse Me, Njeri, but Freddie is not the problem.” My next thought was, well, then who is? It’s just me and him in this relationship? For the next few days, God showed me what it was like to live with ME…and I cried for two days. It was so hard! I had a long way to go to be free of the hurt in my heart and the wrong behavior I had lived with for so long. But it was the beginning of my journey to experiencing the freedom I enjoy today.

One of the first things I had to understand was that I had to stop blaming everybody else, stop looking at what was wrong with other people and start taking responsibility for my attitudes and behaviors. It is amazing how easy it is for us to point out what’s wrong with others while we totally ignore the issue in our own lives. The truth is, it does not matter what is wrong with everybody else. After all, you can’t change them. Only God can do that. However, you can choose to cooperate with the Holy Spirit and let Him change the things in your heart that need to be changed. For this to happen, you have to be willing to face the truth about yourself and deal with the issues He reveals that are causing your problems.

Many of you reading this do not like examining yourselves because you do not like what you find out about and within yourself when you begin to soul search. For others, it is easier to shift blame because you really do not want to change your way of life and have convinced yourself that there is nothing wrong with scheming a little here and a little there.

Additionally, for some reason, God’s people think that when they stand before the judgment seat of Christ, they are going to be able to blame their parents, the church, their pastor, or their circumstances for their lack of maturity. By the lifestyle choices and actions of most believers, I am convinced that people think they will be able to pass the buck when it comes to personal responsibility.

‘The woman said, “The serpent deceived me.”’

Adam told God, ‘Eve made me do it.’ And Eve told God, ‘The devil made me do it.’ Excuse-making and blame-placing are built into our DNA, and until you get beyond them, you’ll never make progress or find real freedom. If you’re willing to accept responsibility for your life, you’ll discover that no matter what other people do or don’t do, to or for you, you’re accountable to yourself. You decide how to respond. You decide to continue to move towards your dreams—or not.

When you’ve been hurt by someone else’s actions, you can do one of two things:

1. Sit like a leper, and die at the gate of blame and complaint; or
2. Emerge with a strategy that enables you to say, ‘I’m too valuable to die, too tenacious to wait on anyone’s mercy, and too creative to accept your neglect as my destiny.’ Only when you’re willing to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your life and your situation, will God empower you to change things.

 

You do not need to be afraid of doing the right thing. When you get yourself into a mess you must not dig yourself deeper to avoid the consequences. If you accept the blame for problems that are your responsibility, you gain the strength of character and you cleanse out the root of rebellion that is still in you. God can’t use anyone who hides from the truth about themselves. Transformation cannot begin until you are mature enough to look deep within yourself and take responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

My friends, the truth sets you free to progress on your way to full and total transformation.

Follow us on our social media handles on FacebookInstagramYouTube, and Twitter.

Till next time, take care, be safe and God strengthen you.

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Njeri MuchunuIT’S NOT MY FAULT!
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SQUEEZED IN THE MOLD

Last week, I began to discuss with you the journey to transformation. I explained that this process is not easy. It is a painful process; one that will leave you feeling foolish, lost, a laughing stock of others, and living in a confusing dark space for a while, allowing yourself to be spit up on a new and unexpected shore. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. As human beings, we seldom go for anything that will cause us any form of discomfort, let alone pain. We flee from pain. I have learned that we only learn the most valuable lessons in life when we go through pain. A mantra that I live by is this: run away from people who have no scars.

We then went through the sequence of commitment, many ending up giving up. We would rather have a quick fix and continue sweeping things under the carpet.

This week, I would like t share with you some nuggets on the most important place to start your transformation journey. That place is Spiritual growth. This is the single most important place to anchor any form of transformation. Deep, lasting spiritual change is a process. It rarely happens overnight. It involves training, testing and time. There are no shortcuts. However, to embark on this spiritual growth journey, you must be sure it is something you want to embark on. Why, you ask?

Spiritual change requires desire. A deep longing in your soul. You need to ask yourself: Do I really want to change, or am I content to remain as I am? How important is change to me? Am I sure I am willing to pay the price to make this change? Have I reached my proverbial “rock bottom”? What price am I willing to pay and how far am I willing to go?

Spiritual change flows out of an intimate relationship with Jesus. Like my nephew likes to say to me, life begins when you meet Jesus. Truly, this is when my life began. I had always wanted to please those I love, and I got grieved when I offended them and did not meet their expectations. However, when I met Jesus, I learned that the more I loved Him and got to know Him, the greater my inspiration to obey him and to make the choices that please him. The process of true change takes place as we are weaned from our love and worship of self, lust, greed, jealousy, pride and this world; and our hearts become wholly devoted to Christ.

Spiritual change requires discipline. I can remember as a college student sitting for hours on end in the library or my room going through volumes and volumes of legal manuals and case law to ensure that I grasped all the concepts as I prepared for my exams. I knew for a fact that I would not excel without the discipline of studying and putting my blinders on and focussing on what was important. I knew that I never would reach my goal — to be a qualified solicitor — without that rigorous discipline. The same applies to spiritual transformation. It requires time and dedication. My friends, nothing of value comes easy – most especially, not spiritual growth and maturity. We must be willing to pay the price.

Spiritual change is brought about by the Holy Spirit, as we exercise faith and obedience. So, you may be asking, which is it? Does God do the work, or do I? According to Scripture, the answer is “yes, you do the work and yes, God also does the work. We are co-labourers in this Kingdom. You do your part and God will do His part”. Many of us want God to do all the work. It’s no wonder you are where you are. True spiritual change is initiated and enabled by the indwelling Spirit of God; it is all of grace, which we receive as we persevere in humility and obedience by faith. That said, we must take time to study the Word and spend time with God seeking which way we should go. As much as the Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth, trust me, you must also do the work of feeding yourself with the right spiritual food. You spend 20 min with God, asking Him for bread and butter, over a period of 24 hours and wonder why your life is remaining the same. The bible tells us that where your treasure is, there your heart will also be. If all you desire is money (and don’t get me wrong, money is good), I assure you, any cheap gimmick to go make money will always grab your attention. My prayer for you is that may you never be so poor that all you have is money.

Spiritual change is possible and assured. It is not when will I get there but rather, how far can I go. It is a lifelong pursuit, oftentimes a painful process. I can assure you, though, that if you keep seeking diligently and with faith and confidence, one day the transformation will be complete. It is possible to enjoy the fullness of God in this land of the living. You can live the abundant life and find rest round about. However, for this to happen, you must put your best foot forward and yearn for spiritual change. This is the first and most important step in transformation.

This will be your anchor and your true north.

Join us again next week as we continue with this series on transformation.

Remember to follow us on our social media handles on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter.

Till next time, take care, be safe and God grant you grace that you may hear His voice

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Njeri MuchunuSQUEEZED IN THE MOLD
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Growth Pains

Hello Friend!

Let us continue from where we left off last week. For those who missed the last two messages, you can find them here.

Last week, I shared that the most important place for transformation to begin is spiritual growth. I shared with you that deep, lasting spiritual change is a process that rarely happens overnight. This process involves training, testing, and time. I went further to state that to begin on the journey of spiritual growth, you must be sure that you are prepared to pay the price. I listed 5 reasons why this is:

1. Spiritual growth requires desire;
2. Spiritual growth flows from a relationship with Jesus Christ;
3. Spiritual growth requires discipline;
4. Spiritual growth is brought about by the Holy Spirit; and
5. Spiritual growth is possible and assured.

 

Why did I say that one must be sure that you are ready to embark on this journey? The reason is that many of us are averse to pain and discomfort of any kind. Our society is self-absorbed with its own feelings. Many of us take pride in seeing ourselves as victims and demand special tolerance, favors, and gifts. We too often give in to our hurts and setbacks and expect someone to baby us or rescue us. We have our hands out far too often. We want to just breeze through life and pray that Jesus will come and move us to the place we want/desire to be. Paul said it very well when he stated that we must strive to make our calling and election sure. The word strive here tells it all. This means that we must make all effort with diligence and hard work to ensure that we grow. This, for sure, will involve pain, a lot of it.

If you want to know and confirm if growth is indeed taking place within you, there will be the arising of pain and discomfort. There’s this very juvenile thought that spiritual growth brings with it the end of all difficulty in life. That having a relationship with Jesus is the end. This is a lie! It doesn’t. It brings with it the opportunity to be released from ego suffering (pride), selfishness, control, guilt, fear, and the list goes on; which is very different.

When the process of spiritual growth begins, the ego begins to suffer. It begins to fight for its position. It does not want to be tamed and therefore it fights you. My friends, this thing called ego causes suffering because of its many beliefs and preferences. Since life will never comply with all of our demands, the ego causes us to endlessly suffer.

For many people, spiritual growth brings immense bliss and enjoyment…at first. It’s like floating in this other world that you never knew could exist. You see the reality of life. You see the beauty in life. You may see the beauty in suffering as well as in pleasure, and you understand these truths. However, as these truths descend deeper into you, they most often hit resistance. The ego finds something, a truth it doesn’t like, and so it resists. The ego itself is also illuminated. The ego never wants to be found out for what it truly is and therefore it resists. The moment you resist this light, the change and love, the bliss state begins to fade. Spiritual growth shines a light on the ego and its selfishness and reveals the truth. This illumination shows you the trash and debris with which you’ve filled your life with. This illumination is not nice and it leaves you feeling naked and you want it to stop. This light shines so bright and the dark areas which you have chosen to let lie are all of a sudden in your face and you hate it. You want to run, but there is nowhere to hide. You want to deny the truth that has been revealed about you that you know in your heart of hearts, is truth. Friend, this is not the time to run. STAY! This fire, in due season, will purify you and bring intense clarity, presence, and groundedness to your life.

We love to blame things, situations, and other people for all that’s going wrong in our lives, and so when something painful comes we look for someone or something to blame for this. It was all fun and games until you had to go a little deeper and get more serious. Suddenly, the light switch that went off in your inner world is showing you the leaking sewage in your basement, but you didn’t want to see that. You just wanted to feel good all the time and focus on the beautiful things in your inner living room. You will try hard to forget about this spiritual path and confess that it is leading nowhere. You run to a Coach, Pastor, Teacher, Therapist, retreat center, meditation group, commune, alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, or something else to try to make yourself feel better. You may constantly do kind acts for others thinking that they can overcompensate for a “negative” issue or something. But still, the sewage leak continues in the basement until it is DIRECTLY addressed. This metaphor can represent a fear of being alone, fear of following your heart, anger at a past lover, family abuse, and so many more things that I won’t even attempt to continue this list. All these past issues, which you have constantly refused to address, come flooding back. Unlike what you thought, it doesn’t go away until it is faced, and your soul knows this. With the support of the light that has been shone within you, now you’re being thrust into facing all of it. But it is too painful.

Part of what makes the time during spiritual growth so painful is your reaction. The more fearful your reaction, the more pain you are likely to experience. Are you brave enough to be vulnerable and surrender the pain to Jesus? Are you vulnerable enough to say, enough is enough and I will go through this, no matter the cost! Unfortunately, our natural instinct is to try to fix the pain, to control it, or even, foolishly, to try to understand it. The ego insists on understanding. The more you try to understand it, the worse it gets.

So what do I do Njeri, you may ask? At this time, I beseech you are called to seek God and hold on to our faith not trying to solve anything. As hard as this may be for you to hear, you need to surrender it all and count this experience all joy because with it comes growth unmistakeable, healing undeniable and peace, unexplainable. Faith is the ability to stand in liminal space, to stand on the threshold, to hold the contraries until we are moved by grace to a much deeper level where our private pain is not center stage. Remember, your pain is not just our own.

My friend, you have one of two choices;

First, to find comfort in our emotional state, accept it as a bandage, afraid to peel it back and apply healing ointment to the wound. You can choose to cling to your emotions because they provide special “handicap” privileges, and then use this pain to justify what you believe, say or do. In this case, you will have accepted the pain and protected it. Don’t say you were not warned as this is a demonic delusion that only perpetuates immaturity and denies the transformational power of Christ’s freedom and forgiveness.

Second, is to accept that pain was designed to teach, transform and mature you, not box you into the darkness. Remember, as human beings, our greatest lessons in life are learned by the things we suffer. You will suffer and your pain will be your teacher. Remember, Christ learned by the things He suffered. His pain was His teacher.

In closing my friends, the sad reality is that a mind that focuses on pain will most often speak pain, and, if left unchecked, will drive others away. Sharing a painful experience with a trusted friend is empowering and emotionally bonding, but continually sharing it with anyone who will listen deludes you into thinking that it is good for you when it is actually a kind of psychosis.

Preoccupation with spiritual growth pain denies the presence of the power of Jesus Christ in your life. It produces no peace or love or joy. It is a faith killer. Feel it, experience it and embrace it for all its worth.

Join us again next week as we continue with this series on transformation.

Remember to follow us on our social media handles on FacebookInstagramYouTube, and Twitter.

Till next time, take care, be safe and God grant you grace that you may hear His voice.

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Njeri MuchunuGrowth Pains
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Transformation

Hello, Friend!

It’s been a while since I shared a post with you. Truthfully, it’s been a season of transition and transformation. Its been an interesting, painful, joyous, and life-changing experience and I would like to share with you the journey to total transformation. Going forward, many of my blog posts will focus on transformation, especially, the transformation of the mind.

Many of the times we are told that we should be transformed by the renewal of our minds. Depending on how this is communicated to us, it may seem as though it is a simple process that happens quite suddenly. However, this is not the case. The longer I serve God and study His Word, the more I understand and accept the pain that comes with transformation. I am then led to count it all joy. Yes, I said it. The renewal of the Mind is a painful and slow process. Put these words together and you get that the transformation of the mind is a painfully slow process.

My friends, transformation is not merely a change of morals, group affiliation, or belief system—but a change at the very core of the way you receive, hear, and pass on each moment. Transformation, the mystery we’re examining, more often happens not when something new begins but when something old falls apart and away. The pain of something old falling apart—chaos—invites the soul to listen at a deeper level. It invites and sometimes forces the soul to go to a new place because the old place is falling apart. Whatever it is, it does not feel good and it does not feel like God. You will do anything to keep the old thing from falling apart. This is when you need patience, guidance, and the courage to let go instead of tightening your controls and certitudes. Perhaps Jesus is describing this phenomenon when he says, “It is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it” . Jesus knows how much letting go it takes to “treat others as you would like them to treat you”

Transformation usually includes a disconcerting reorientation. Change can either help you to find new meaning, or it can cause you to shut down and become bitter. This difference is determined by the quality of your inner life, what I like to call your “spirituality.” Spiritual transformation is an actual process of letting go; allowing yourself to live in a confusing dark space for a while, and then allowing yourself to be spit up on a new and unexpected shore.

If only spiritual transformation were that easy; just read a book, see a coach, attend a conference, make a fresh commitment, resolve to be different, shed a few tears at an altar, memorize a few verses…and, presto, out comes a mature, godly Christian. To the contrary, the experience of many looks like this:

1. Commit. Fail. Confess.
2. Re-commit. Fail again. Confess again.
3. Re-re-commit. Fail again. Give up.

 

After all the struggle and the effort, we tend to want a “quick fix” — a book, a conference, a coach, an encounter, a miraculous deliverance, a program — something that will be effective and preferably pain-free. We want God (or someone else) to do something to us or for us, for a once-for-all victory so that we won’t have to keep wrestling with the same old issues.

One of the greatest revelations of my life was that I can choose my thoughts and think things on purpose. In other words, I don’t have to just think about whatever falls into my mind. This was a life-changing revelation for me because as I think in my heart, so am I. I like to say it like this: Where my mind goes, my body follows.

Let me share an example: Justin decided to give His life to Jesus two months ago. He does all the right things but he is still struggling with anger. He says, “I can’t stop my outbursts. I get really irritated at the way people treat me. Every day I pray to God, but everyday people still make me angry.” He also confided that he is constantly struggling with lustful thoughts.

Harry, 67 years old, has been a Christian all his adult life. He grew up with a father who verbally abused him. “I can still hear my father saying-you’ll never amount to anything! You’re good for nothing!” And the damage still hangs on even though Harry is now a grandfather and loves God.

The struggles may not be identical, but many Christians are caught up in major battles in their mind. As Christians, we are told that the old way of thinking has gone, the new has come, but where reality hits the road-we fall short- especially in our thought life. Unfortunately, the old way of thinking has not gone away. Many of us still struggle with temptations in our mind, bitterness, depression, fear, hopelessness, frustrations, problems, and putting it bluntly-evil thoughts. To be a successful Christian means to follow Jesus, to obey His teachings, to love others, to grow spiritually. But this battle still rages in the mind.

God’s solution to this battle is not simply to pray more. Prayer is important but we need to do more than pray. So when you pray, “Oh God, renew my mind,” you are acting much like a child that says, “Mom, do my homework for me.” Most responsible parents would say, “No!”

When it comes to renewing your mind, God will do His part, but not your part.

In my own walk with God, I have discovered some helpful principles about how the renewal of the mind takes place.

If you would like to learn more, join me next week where I will share with you some helpful principles on how transformation takes place. Let me share a snippet…Deep, lasting renewal of the mind is a process. It rarely happens overnight. It involves training, testing, and time. There are no shortcuts. We hear of people being dramatically delivered from drug or alcohol addiction, and we may wonder, “Why doesn’t God do that for me? Why do I have to struggle with this food addiction, with lust, worry, and fear, with an unbridled tongue?”

Join me next week to find out more. Remember to follow us on our social media handles on FacebookYouTube, Twitter and Instagram.

Till next time, take care, be safe and God strengthen you.

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Njeri MuchunuTransformation
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End of Myself!

Yesterday I spoke about being at one’s “Wits’ End”. I defined this as being at a place where one’s wisdom and knowledge in finding answers and solutions to life’s problems seem to have come to an end. We saw how helpless we are in ourselves and that in and of ourselves, our wisdom can come to a complete halt. We, therefore, need to seek wisdom from above.

When you get to your “Wits’ End”, I would suggest you do the following:

1. Turn to your Maker – a.k.a God: This is the one who created you and knows all of you and has an array of solutions. From the story of the storm that we read yesterday, we saw that the sailors, at their “Wits’ End” decided to call on their Maker. They turned to Him and looked only to Him for a solution and they cast their burdens onto Him.

 

2. Repent: You need to come to a point where you admit your shortcomings and become vulnerable enough to admit that you cannot do it all by yourself. Remember, that the Lord’s strength is made perfect in weakness. Once you get to this place, a place or realization of your weakness, you can then see the error of your ways. Once you get to this point, seek the Lord in repentance and ask Him for forgiveness. Then from here, make a decision to not do it on your own again. Change your mind about your behaviors.

 

3. Cry out to GodThe Lord is near to the broken-hearted. When we call upon our Father in heaven, He hears us. However, remember that our sin keeps us away from God and He cannot hear us. We, therefore, need to cry out to Him having repented of our ways and He is ready and willing to help us. When we cry out to God, God does 3 things for us:

 

a. He calms the storm. God will still the storms in your life;

b. He will put the smile back on our face. When you’re at your Wits’ Ends and you see the storm calm, the clouds clear away and the sunshine through; and

c. He will bring you safely to your desired haven. God will always give you a way out. It may not be the solution you desire but it will be the solution that is best for you because He knows what is best for us.

1. Practise Humility:

No matter how high you rise in this world, there will be a time when you realize that you are not God. Life has a way of humbling the best of us. It is sad to note that many a leader have had the grace to start but they rarely have the grace to finish and finish well. In my world, I believe that how I finish is more important than how I start. I have learned humility and realized that as long as there is a God in heaven, I know very little. I have learned to be humble and to seek Him first in everything that I do.

 

2. Lean not on your own understanding:

The education system today prioritizes universal human qualities and intellect. Humanism rejects the validity of transcendental justifications, such as dependence on faith, the supernatural, or divinely revealed truths. Greek philosophy emphasized human reason as the only legitimate source of knowledge. However, this is a lie and there is knowledge that is beyond our understanding. If we want to attain higher levels of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, we must first accept the divine and then learn to release what we don’t understand to God and let Him sort it out for us. I know that this seems weak and easy but it is by far the hardest thing you can ever do. It is not for the faint of heart.

 

My friends, the above are sure ways to smile again and to ensure that the burden is lifted. Follow these and you will experience a sense of freedom. The truth is that many of us are living in denial of the fact that the so-called freedoms we want or desire and espouse are the primary cause of reaching our “Wits’ End”. The truth is that once you cease to orbit around the Creator, you will constantly reach your “Wits’ End” and be truly lost.

Maybe you have no idea where to start this journey or what to do. Perhaps, no one has ever told you about God and you are not aware of His existence. Perhaps, this God of Njeri seems more real than the God I know; He seems to answer questions and show up when called upon. Well, on that, you are right. I am driven by love, and as such, it would be a privilege to introduce you to my God and walk the leadership journey with you and help you birth your destiny.

Reach out to us and we will guide you into the light.

In the meantime, feel free to browse through our website as well as our social media pages on facebookInstagram and twitter.

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Njeri MuchunuEnd of Myself!
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BUSY? MAKE TIME FOR WHAT MATTERS!

Let us begin with an activity.

Take a piece of paper and make a list of all the things that you find yourself doing that don’t really make a significant difference: going shopping, doing your hair, changing the oil in your car, watching the news and the list goes on. Are you done? Good. Let’s move on.

Now, on the other side of the piece of paper, make a list of all the things that are truly and eternally important: knowing God, spending time with family and friends, personal growth, praying and the list goes on. Done? Good.

My advice to you is not to give your life to the things that don’t really make a significance. Focus on the second list and stay there. This is not to mean that the things on the 1st list don’t matter, they do. What I am saying is that they don’t require all your time and attention and therefore spend as little time on these matters as possible.

What am I trying to do here? I am trying to help you prioritize and decide what is really important in life and what is not. Once you make that decision, discipline yourself and focus on what is important. As Steve Covey rightly put it “Keep the main thing, the main thing”. You should be concerned with being productive and not merely being busy. Many of us are so busy running around that at the end of the day if you are asked what you accomplished, you will not be able to state this with certainty. You will find that many leaders will be very busy but not productive and more importantly, they are not consistent with this productivity. This then means as leaders we end up being reactive as opposed to being proactive. You find that you respond to what comes your way as opposed to thinking things through ahead of time and choosing what is more important at any given time.

I have come to the realization in my own personal life that I can’t be everywhere and I can’t do everything. I find my plate very full and this has taught me to make choices. Saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else. Saying yes to less is one of my goals. I say no to lots of things so that I can say yes to the things that have significant eternal value.

I diligently cultivate my relationship with Jesus Christ and I have clarity of Purpose. However, Purpose is not worth anything to me if I don’t have an intimate and close relationship with the Purpose giver. Prioritizing helps protect my relationship with God and my Purpose.

My friends, what I have come to learn and appreciate in my life as a leader is that if I do not plan and prioritize, a significant number of people will create a plan for me and I will be swayed left and right depending on the direction the wind is blowing.

My prayer for you dear leader in matters prioritizing is “That the Lord your God may show you the way you should go and the thing that you should do”.

Are you going through a transition, be it in your career, a family situation, a relationship, life in general?

Reach out to us and we can help you unpack what is happening in your life and assist you in setting clear goals and prioritizing. However, you must be hungry for this. It is for those committed to making a difference in themselves and in the world at large.

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Njeri MuchunuBUSY? MAKE TIME FOR WHAT MATTERS!
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BAD-MOUTHING!

Hello friend,

Let me ask you, have you been in a situation where people talk negatively about you or slander you for no good reason? Even of greater concern to you is that a lot of these people don’t even know you, have never met you, or know nothing about you? How does it feel to you? I am sure it hurts and it hurts a lot. The truth is, as long as we are on this side of eternity, people will hurt you and you will hurt others, either intentionally or otherwise. But this article is not about you hurting others but rather about you being hurt by others and how, as a child of light, you are to respond to it.

I want to be clear here. If they are talking badly (persecuting) about you and your character is in question, then woe unto you because evil people and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. I am not speaking to you. However, if you are being persecuted because you are living a righteous life, and standing for Jesus then continue reading this article. My friend, the world will persecute you if yours is a lifestyle of righteousness. The righteous person is divided, separated from this world. You must earn it by being different. To be a leader worth your salt, you must take a stand. You must be willing to be different! Leadership is not for the faint of heart and if you want acceptance, then my friend, you are not ready to be a leader.

However, there’s a way you can escape persecution. First, don’t live a godly life. Second, don’t desire to lead. Just hobnob with the world and fail to take a stand or be distinctive, and you won’t suffer persecution.

To you who wishes to take a stand and be different, to lead a godly life, remember that enemy is no longer directing persecution to a person’s physical body (though there are parts of the world where this is still happening), but to the ego. He focuses on pride, the desire for acceptance, and the desire for status. The threat is no longer “If you witness, I’ll cut your head off,” no but more like, “If you witness, you might lose your job, your status, your friends, your influence-or someone might think you are strange.” The techniques the enemy uses today have a tremendous effect in a subtle way. He has found that it is very effective to kill the children of light by making them complacent, indolent, intelligent, rich, and socially oriented. The church has watered down its theology to accommodate the world. That is a more successful form of persecution than having all Christians boiled in oil!

So, what am I saying; when you’re different, they will pursue you, watching you like a hawk, trying to find some flaw, some difference in you. And when they find it, they find fodder, and they will use it against you and it’ll make them feel better as they condemn you. I experience this a lot in my life. When I stick my neck above the crowd to espouse a biblical virtue, and the attack is instant. They lie about me and make false accusations. However, I am reminded that the most righteous person who ever lived, Jesus Christ, was crucified on the testimony of false witnesses. So, I expect it. This does not mean it does not hurt, it does, tremendously, but I expect it. It is almost inevitable. The more vocal you are about your faith, the more likely you are to find people who are opposed to it. How you choose to respond when people take jabs at you is profoundly important. Your response can set the tone for meaningful conversation and increase your influence.

Take the following steps to deal with persecution, when it happens.

  1. Pray for those who persecute you:

    Yes, I said it. This is the best thing to do in every situation. Pray as if your life depends on it, because in reality, most of the time, it does. Your relationship with the Lord will determine how you handle the rest of this situation. At times, you will want to lash out at the person slandering you. Resist that temptation. Instead, pray for that person(s). Yes, I know. Praying for the person persecuting you can be difficult but my friend, if for no other reason, it will soften your heart for that person, and you will be able to face them with grace instead of anger and pain.

  2. Let God fight your battle

    This is by far the hardest thing you will have to do. To be still and let God fight for you. You will be tempted to correct the gossip you hear about yourself. Don’t be tempted to defend yourself. God will send others to do that. By virtue of what I do, I find that there is a lot of incorrect information about me out there, some of which even makes me laugh out loud because it was so outlandish while others are blatant attacks. Because of this, I have come to fully understand the verse that says The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I have come to the understanding, more than ever before that there was and there is nothing I can say to change people’s minds about me. So, I let it go and I let God.

    3. Realize it’s a blessing.

    What? How can you even contemplate that being persecuted is a blessing? You can! And as a leader, you must! When you are holding steadfast to God and His truth, letting Him guide you through difficult situations, you may very well find yourself in the slander spotlight. When this happens, trust these verses – Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me... Our faith grows when we watch God work it all out and see Him get all the glory for all He has done! What a blessing!

    Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behaviors in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

    4.Believe the truth will come to light.

    My friend, I know if you are going through all this, it is not easy and I am very sorry. Just lean into Jesus. I know my saying this does not seem like I am saying much. The truth is, He, above all, completely understands. In the end, whether on Earth or in heaven, the truth will all come to light.

I experienced a situation years back, and I chose not to defend myself but just let it go. I mean, I have quite a number of experiences in this area. Many years later, I received a call from the main perpetrator. This person expressed complete sorrow for having said what was said and asked for forgiveness. I was at a loss for words because time had passed and I had even forgotten about the ordeal. That said, the person was asking me to forgive them and that they needed to hear me say to them that they are forgiven. It was one of the most memorable experiences. I was very thankful to God for this, that even though it took years, the truth became evident because God was working it all out. Because of all this, relationships began to be mended where division had once resided.

He will fight for you! You can trust that!

My friend, the world is falling apart and the leaders required in this season need to have a firm foundation and they need to be able to face the headwinds that will come with their leadership. You cannot make it on your own. You need God. However, understand this, that the world hates Jesus. Oh, not the baby in the manger or the One who healed the sick or fed the multitudes. It hates the Jesus who said He came “to destroy the works of the devil.” Jesus came against corruption, adultery, idolatry, lies, drunkenness, abortion, homosexuality, murder, pornography, and so on. He came against pride, racism, and hatred. For that, the world hates Him. And it will hate you.

Jesus came to condemn and expose their sin, and they hated Him. The world still hates Him and the things He stands against. It’s no wonder He is the greatest leader what ever lived. He did not come to be loved by the world but lead and change the world for the better. The world hates you for the life they see you living and the Lord you serve. You will find yourself the butt of jokes.

My friend, remember, persecution will only increase. Don’t sit in the corner feeling sorry for yourself. You must remember who you are: a child of The King. Release love to those who persecute you and do good to them. Be like God and love them. These people are blind. They don’t see. They don’t understand. We need to treat our persecutors as God has treated us. Come to grips with it: as a leader, one who follows the greatest leader who ever lived, Jesus Christ, you are going to be persecuted.

My ask of you is to seek the Lord to teach you to be different. Don’t let the world intimidate you. Don’t live by political correctness. Stand tall and do not be afraid.

If you find that you are easily and completely swayed and fold because of the rejection of others, it is clear you do not know who you are. It is imperative that you find your identity and your value. Without knowing who you are, it is very difficult to withstand the persecution that will come.

If you need help with knowing who you are, reach out to us and it would be an honor and a privilege to walk this journey of self-discovery with you.

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Njeri MuchunuBAD-MOUTHING!
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Leadership 101: Demands of Leadership

Hello Friend,

Let me start by asking a question, what does it mean to be a leader? Let’s go back to the basics. In my view, and as John Maxwell rightly puts it, leadership is influence nothing more nothing less and it starts with leading myself. What does that even mean Njeri? We are very good at sounding smart and intellectual but have very little substance. We are smart and have posh jobs but when asked questions that have depth and that concern our very beings, we come back blank.

So again, I will ask, what is the true meaning of leadership?

I believe that Leadership is the capacity to influence others through inspiration, not manipulation. Leaders are agents of change. They do not conform to the patterns of the world and many are the times that they are misunderstood. Most will follow leaders, not because they want to be leaders themselves and wish to make an impact but because of what they get from them. Position, status, association, and the list goes on. Many people look for leaders and attach themselves to them in the hope that they can take what this leader has and become them. They are in it to feed, not to grow as people but to feed. They hope that somehow, by extension, they can get the sort of influence the leader has.

My friends, I am here to tell you that there is no shortcut to receiving the crown. In order to be a leader worth your salt, you must be ready to go through the cross and take responsibility. Leadership demands a lot of a person. Finding something worth doing by yourself is one of the most important traits of leadership. If you need people to like you and approve of you, then you are not a leader yet. You must be willing to go alone. Leaders give people’s lives meaning and that is why they follow you. This is when they find a sense of significance in their own lives.

Leadership does not begin with people. It begins with you. It begins with how you think. Leadership begins with your belief system which determines your philosophy of life. True leadership is self-discovery and it begins with an individual discovering something about themselves. Until you are introduced to yourself, you will never become a true leader. When you meet yourself, you will always be afraid of yourself because you will not agree with who or what you have become. You keep telling yourself – that’s not me and you do this for a long long time.

You are convinced that you are useless and they (culture, the world, others) use you to do what they want you to do and you obey them because you don’t know who you were born to be. I was the same. I was trapped. When I discovered who I am, I started to dictate my own value and I discovered that the world needs me! If you discover this, you become significant.

My friend, do you want to be a leader? Are you committed to do whatever it takes to leave a legacy by leading yourself?

Why don’t you give me the privilege of introducing you to yourself?

Reach out to us and I will be more than happy to walk this journey with you.

Remember my friend, that your thinking is your life.

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Njeri MuchunuLeadership 101: Demands of Leadership
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LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!

Where are we headed as a society; as a people? I saw a number of articles on the mainstream media this weekend, all speaking to sexual freedom and how Christians are stifling people’s freedom of expression based on their high moral ground of sexual purity. To a certain extent, I don’t blame them because many Christians are preaching water and drinking wine. I digress! I mean, there is nothing else that seems to be spoken about more these days except who is sleeping with who (fornication), whose husband is sleeping with whose wife (adultery), which two men and in a relationship (homosexuality), and so on and so forth. That society and people should be allowed to express themselves as they wish to in these times that we are living in. However, it is not acceptable for me to speak boldly about my convictions as a woman of God because I make people feel uncomfortable. What about what makes me uncomfortable? What about my rights?

It is also rather surprising to note how fornication has been normalized as though nothing is wrong with it. That it is acceptable for a couple to have sex, live together, and not be married, as long as they both agree and are consenting adults. It is even worse that married men and married women are sleeping with other married men and women and for some reason, it seems to be acceptable. It is a known secret…..ssshhhh. It is no longer frowned upon. In fact, I am sure as I write this, many people are wondering why I would write about this issue. What pray-tell does it have to do with leadership?

Everything. Because my friend, everything rises and falls on leadership!

Leadership begins with self. It begins with me leading myself first. This speaks to character and morality is key to character. Rather than asking, “What is right?” or “What will produce the best results?”, I usually ask myself “What type of person should I become?” I believe strongly that if I mold my character more and more on God’s character, this will increasingly lead to me doing the right thing. Therefore, my friends, to be a leader worth my salt, I must be a person of character thereby observing some moral codes of engagement. Black is black and white is white. There is no grey area. We are living in times when our so-called leaders don’t stand for anything and are allowing everything to pass in the name of being liked and accepted. As a leader, why would you want to be accepted? Your role is not to be accepted but rather to speak Truth, in love, for the sake of the people you influence and society at large.

So, what am I saying? I am saying that fornication is wrong in whatever form we have chosen to call it. We sanitize it by calling it pre-marital sex, we are partners, we are two consenting adults, and so on a so forth. I am here to state categorically that as a leader, I will never tell anyone to engage in any form of sexual interaction before marriage. I know this may make me unpopular, but that’s something I am willing to live with. Why you may ask? ‘Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will be become one flesh.”’ When it talks about becoming ‘one in body’ or ‘one flesh’ it doesn’t mean our flesh is fused. It means your whole self is involved. Your whole self is given away. Your whole self, your personality, your identity is bonded to another person. Sex is not just a physical act that leaves the ‘real you’ unaffected. It profoundly changes you. The pain caused when sexual purity is lost or when one person cheats on another is profound. I do not believe that this pain is experienced only by Christians. I believe this pain is experienced by all…..look at Hollywood if you need an example. This means that this is principle applies all around. If it only affected Christians, then only Christians would feel its devastating effects. However, everyone in the world who plays around with it is deeply wounded.

Too many of our foolish intellectual leaders are attempting to salvage their so-called “sexual revolution” by encouraging “safe sex,” i.e. sex with a protective condom. In reality, the only “safe sex” is that between two persons who are married and faithful to one another. We who believe Scripture must not hesitate to remind ourselves and others that the curse of God is upon those who commit sexual sin. Remember my friends, that the wages of sin is ultimately death. It spells spiritual death now, and eternal separation from God in the world to come, regardless of the present physical repercussions or lack of them.

I spoke about the media above. The very irresponsible mass media, in particular television and modern popular music, treats the dangers of sexual impurity and immorality mostly as if they did not exist. Dramatic presentations have movie heroes like James Bond hopping from bed to bed with one beautiful woman after another, seemingly without consequences. Many young people have already discovered, to their frightened dismay, that this is how babies are conceived (though it is seldom so in the movies). Song lyrics make unlawful sexual encounters sound wistfully romantic. However, they totally ignore the real-life implications of such actions. America’s spiraling illegitimacy rate attests to the fact that conception and birth are still the very natural result of heterosexual intimacy. Abortion, with its mental and physical scarring, is the stop-gap measure invented to rid our lives of these children conceived in “one night stand, non-committal relationships“.

And then there are the diseases! We must not forget those diseases! Dear friend, the only way we are going to put a halt to this AIDS epidemic and all related sexually transmitted diseases is if we respect the law of the Lord and limit sexual activity to the normal, male-female, marriage relationship. We must know, even today, that “he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18). If we are guilty of this sin, we are not only transgressing an ordinance of Heaven, but we are hurting ourselves, potentially destroying our own bodies!

I think it is time we called things out for what they are. Why are we, as leaders remaining silent as our children get lost and caught up in a society that does not protect them? Why, as parents, are we silent as though we are afraid of telling our children what is right and what is wrong? What is up with this new thing I hear modern-day parents keep saying – as long as they are happy! What does that even mean? Then, when your child is caught up in some sexual scandal with some old man or old woman, you are all up in arms crucifying these people. I thought that what mattered is that your child is happy! But are they happy, really and truly? Did you take the time to speak to your child when you had authority over them about who they are, first in Christ and second, in society.? Had you spoken to them about the dangers of promiscuity? Did you, yourself, set an example for them to follow?

My dear friend, we cannot stay silent as we watch our society fall on its knees for lack of morals. We can no longer stay silent as mass media steals away the innocent minds of our children in the name is of being liberal! Like I always say, responsibility comes at a price. Are you willing to pay the price for the sake of this generation?

Reach out to us here and we would be more than happy to walk this journey of leadership with you.

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Njeri MuchunuLET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!
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I AM BROKEN!

Hello Friend,

I am broken. Broken, at how many lives are being lost each day. Broken, at the number of dreams buried. Broken, at how casually leaders are living each day as though things are ok. Broken, that the influencers in our nation are caught up in matters that are not changing society for the better; as long as they are ok, it does not matter. Broken, because we seem to be missing the point of this life we have been given. Broken, because we keep saying one day we will do this or the other. Broken, because leaders are in so much pain yet are afraid of getting healing because of pride and fear of being vulnerable before another. Broken, as people tell me that I will be back, only for them to leave this world permanently! Broken, because Christ paid such a high price for our victory yet we are living as though we are defeated! My heart is broken.

I am broken. My constant desire is to work with other broken leaders so that together we can unapologetically leave a legacy by leading ourselves first and then leaving this world better than we found it. Leaders who are not ashamed to face themselves for the greater good. Leaders who are ready to put their pride aside and listen for once. Let me ask you a question, what breaks your heart? My friend, knowing what breaks your heart is also knowing what you should do with your life, and how you should be leading others.

Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that I am “broken” in the sense that I am rendered useless by my imperfections. No. The opposite is actually true. I am made more useful by my brokenness, and I discovered my greatest Purpose through my pain and suffering. When I look around at the kind of leaders who are influencing the world today, my heart breaks. Where are they directing our children to? Why has everything, even moral corruption, become ok. I hear well-meaning parents saying, I will let my children do as they please as long as they are happy! When did life become about happiness and who determines this? When did lack of discipline lead to happiness? I sit down and I wonder what more I can do. This is the burden that led me and continues to inspire me to do what I do today, helping leaders know who they are, why they are here and what they can do to leave the world better than they found it.

A.W. Tozer is often credited with a quote that I truly love. It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply. Yes, yes, yes, I know what you are thinking. God loves us too much to hurt us. However, God does not hurt us the way man does. He breaks us so that He can make us. The book of Hebrews says that the Lord disciplines those He loves. If you have experienced disciplining in any form, you know that this process is not fun nor painless. We tend to think of Christianity as a painless system by which we can escape the penalty of past sins and get to heaven at last. Not so. The devil, things, and people being what they are, it is necessary for God to use the hammer, the file, and the furnace to cleanse us.

My friend, great leadership doesn’t start with a great education, although that is incredibly valuable. It certainly also does not start with a particular position within an organization. Great leadership often starts with a broken heart. Drive, determination, and productivity are valuable. Talent and charisma are great assets for leaders to possess not to forget the vital role relationships play in the path to success. However, the truth is none of those things are as powerful as a heart, broken before God and broken over the condition of something and burdened to fix it and make it better.

Many people ask me, why would God allow this or the other to happen? If He is such a good God, why then is there so much suffering and pain. The answer my friend has nothing to do with God but everything to do with us. Our sin separates us from God and because of this we feel as though God does not care. Sin and God cannot co-exist. Additionally, you must believe that all things work together for good. ALL THINGS! Even the death of a loved one; it all works together for good. The reason we never see the good is because we are so focused on the issue/pain instead of being focused on God. So it isn’t true that God causes evil to come into our lives for no purpose. Rather, it is that he uses the suffering we endure for our good, to prepare and shape our character so that we’re up to the task of leadership. Leadership is a painful and lonely journey and unless you are well prepared for it, I assure you, it will break you. As a leader, you will suffer weakness, not if, but when and if you have Christ in you, you will experience His strength, learn the lessons and be able to keep moving forward.

My friends, the world’s greatest influencers aren’t merely rich and famous. Those who have the most impact on any generation are leaders acquainted with suffering; who own their brokenness.

I have a long way to go and a lot to learn. I am on a journey and I have made significant progress by the Grace of God. I came to the understanding a long time ago that it isn’t my strength that brings success or influence. It is actually God’s strength, made perfect in my weaknesses that can profoundly affect the leaders and the world around me.

To any leader reading this, my greatest encouragement to you is to embrace your pain. Own your brokenness. There is no shame nor condemnation. And reach out to us. Come crawling, exhausted, beaten down but come. This is a safe haven where you can unburden without any judgment. Don’t remain silent any longer. You have so much to offer the world, you just don’t know it or see it. You can make things right and rise up again and leave a legacy for your children and the world at large.

Victory comes after our momentary defeats, and though crying lasts through the night, joy comes in the morning.

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Njeri MuchunuI AM BROKEN!