Purpose

Lets-Talk-about-Sex-Njeri-Muchunu-Blog-1.png

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!

Where are we headed as a society; as a people? I saw a number of articles on the mainstream media this weekend, all speaking to sexual freedom and how Christians are stifling people’s freedom of expression based on their high moral ground of sexual purity. To a certain extent, I don’t blame them because many Christians are preaching water and drinking wine. I digress! I mean, there is nothing else that seems to be spoken about more these days except who is sleeping with who (fornication), whose husband is sleeping with whose wife (adultery), which two men and in a relationship (homosexuality), and so on and so forth. That society and people should be allowed to express themselves as they wish to in these times that we are living in. However, it is not acceptable for me to speak boldly about my convictions as a woman of God because I make people feel uncomfortable. What about what makes me uncomfortable? What about my rights?

It is also rather surprising to note how fornication has been normalized as though nothing is wrong with it. That it is acceptable for a couple to have sex, live together, and not be married, as long as they both agree and are consenting adults. It is even worse that married men and married women are sleeping with other married men and women and for some reason, it seems to be acceptable. It is a known secret…..ssshhhh. It is no longer frowned upon. In fact, I am sure as I write this, many people are wondering why I would write about this issue. What pray-tell does it have to do with leadership?

Everything. Because my friend, everything rises and falls on leadership!

Leadership begins with self. It begins with me leading myself first. This speaks to character and morality is key to character. Rather than asking, “What is right?” or “What will produce the best results?”, I usually ask myself “What type of person should I become?” I believe strongly that if I mold my character more and more on God’s character, this will increasingly lead to me doing the right thing. Therefore, my friends, to be a leader worth my salt, I must be a person of character thereby observing some moral codes of engagement. Black is black and white is white. There is no grey area. We are living in times when our so-called leaders don’t stand for anything and are allowing everything to pass in the name of being liked and accepted. As a leader, why would you want to be accepted? Your role is not to be accepted but rather to speak Truth, in love, for the sake of the people you influence and society at large.

So, what am I saying? I am saying that fornication is wrong in whatever form we have chosen to call it. We sanitize it by calling it pre-marital sex, we are partners, we are two consenting adults, and so on a so forth. I am here to state categorically that as a leader, I will never tell anyone to engage in any form of sexual interaction before marriage. I know this may make me unpopular, but that’s something I am willing to live with. Why you may ask? ‘Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will be become one flesh.”’ When it talks about becoming ‘one in body’ or ‘one flesh’ it doesn’t mean our flesh is fused. It means your whole self is involved. Your whole self is given away. Your whole self, your personality, your identity is bonded to another person. Sex is not just a physical act that leaves the ‘real you’ unaffected. It profoundly changes you. The pain caused when sexual purity is lost or when one person cheats on another is profound. I do not believe that this pain is experienced only by Christians. I believe this pain is experienced by all…..look at Hollywood if you need an example. This means that this is principle applies all around. If it only affected Christians, then only Christians would feel its devastating effects. However, everyone in the world who plays around with it is deeply wounded.

Too many of our foolish intellectual leaders are attempting to salvage their so-called “sexual revolution” by encouraging “safe sex,” i.e. sex with a protective condom. In reality, the only “safe sex” is that between two persons who are married and faithful to one another. We who believe Scripture must not hesitate to remind ourselves and others that the curse of God is upon those who commit sexual sin. Remember my friends, that the wages of sin is ultimately death. It spells spiritual death now, and eternal separation from God in the world to come, regardless of the present physical repercussions or lack of them.

I spoke about the media above. The very irresponsible mass media, in particular television and modern popular music, treats the dangers of sexual impurity and immorality mostly as if they did not exist. Dramatic presentations have movie heroes like James Bond hopping from bed to bed with one beautiful woman after another, seemingly without consequences. Many young people have already discovered, to their frightened dismay, that this is how babies are conceived (though it is seldom so in the movies). Song lyrics make unlawful sexual encounters sound wistfully romantic. However, they totally ignore the real-life implications of such actions. America’s spiraling illegitimacy rate attests to the fact that conception and birth are still the very natural result of heterosexual intimacy. Abortion, with its mental and physical scarring, is the stop-gap measure invented to rid our lives of these children conceived in “one night stand, non-committal relationships“.

And then there are the diseases! We must not forget those diseases! Dear friend, the only way we are going to put a halt to this AIDS epidemic and all related sexually transmitted diseases is if we respect the law of the Lord and limit sexual activity to the normal, male-female, marriage relationship. We must know, even today, that “he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18). If we are guilty of this sin, we are not only transgressing an ordinance of Heaven, but we are hurting ourselves, potentially destroying our own bodies!

I think it is time we called things out for what they are. Why are we, as leaders remaining silent as our children get lost and caught up in a society that does not protect them? Why, as parents, are we silent as though we are afraid of telling our children what is right and what is wrong? What is up with this new thing I hear modern-day parents keep saying – as long as they are happy! What does that even mean? Then, when your child is caught up in some sexual scandal with some old man or old woman, you are all up in arms crucifying these people. I thought that what mattered is that your child is happy! But are they happy, really and truly? Did you take the time to speak to your child when you had authority over them about who they are, first in Christ and second, in society.? Had you spoken to them about the dangers of promiscuity? Did you, yourself, set an example for them to follow?

My dear friend, we cannot stay silent as we watch our society fall on its knees for lack of morals. We can no longer stay silent as mass media steals away the innocent minds of our children in the name is of being liberal! Like I always say, responsibility comes at a price. Are you willing to pay the price for the sake of this generation?

Reach out to us here and we would be more than happy to walk this journey of leadership with you.

read more
Njeri MuchunuLET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!
Start-with-Gratitude-Njeri-Muchunu-Post.png

START WITH GRATITUDE

As I listened to the first Sunday sermon for 2021, these words stood out for me “START WITH GRATITUDE”.

The reason they did is that for most of us, 2020 was nothing like we had anticipated. We were forced out of our comfort zones. We had to rethink how we live. Who knew that wearing masks would become the norm? Or that hugging friends would become a health risk? Our homes turned into offices, schools and churches as we avoided gatherings as a means to survival. What we thought would take a month became our new way of living and we had to adjust accordingly. Living with uncertainty took a toll on most of us knowingly or unknowingly, 2020 will be a year hard to forget.

As 2021 arrived and most of us were happy just to get over 2020. We exhaled and welcomed 2021 but with a bit of caution not knowing exactly what to expect. But the beauty of new seasons is that they bring a renewed sense of hope. And we dare to hope knowing that our hope will not be cut short (Proverbs 13:18).

As you process the year 2020 and come up with your 2021 resolutions, I encourage you to Start with Gratitude. You may wonder what you have to be grateful for, so here is a list of things you can be thankful for:

 

  1. Life – seeing a new year is a blessing by itself.  

 

 You lived through a difficult period and you survived. Celebrate life. Maybe you are going through a rough season and living may seem more like a curse than a blessing but I encourage you to be thankful still. The fact that you are alive gives you a chance for a better tomorrow. Be thankful for today! For breath! For Life!

 

 

2. Relationships.

No man is an island. – John Donne

Throughout the year, you had people around you that made life bearable and probably contributed to your success. Be thankful for the friends, family and colleagues that they were a part of your 2020. If possible, write a thank you note to them – even if it’s just a text message. Maybe it’s a person who encouraged you with their presence on social media, write a thank you message to them and if possible specify your reason for appreciating them. Positive psychology studies have found immense benefits for saying thank you. For example, a study found that managers who remembered to say ‘thank you’ had more motivated teams. Another study found that spouses who expressed gratitude were also able to express their concerns more freely. So go ahead and appreciate them. 

If the person you would like to thank is no longer with us, why don’t you take a minute and write down your thank you letter even though they will not read it. The exercise will be beneficial to you. 

If you are a believer, be thankful for the relationship with Christ Jesus. He is our rock, our sustainer and our eternal HOPE.

 

3. Experiences.

“Experience is not the best teacher; evaluated experience is the best teacher.” John Maxwell

What lessons did you learn in 2020 through experience? Evaluate your year and be thankful for the insights you gathered be it from good or bad experiences. Find ways to give meaning to your setbacks. Be thankful for the lessons that you learnt. Maybe working from home helped you see that you are disciplined. Maybe losing your job helped you find your passion. Maybe the lockdown gave you more time with family and you have built stronger relationships. Maybe you got more rest when your travel plans were cancelled. Maybe you got a new job or just got married or got a baby. There are many things to be thankful for.

Finally, thank yourself for the good choices you made in 2020. Celebrate yourself for a moment. For example, ‘I thank myself for choosing to replace my toothbrush with a new one every quarter.’ It will sound cheesy but go ahead and celebrate yourself!

I hope that this exercise will bring a smile to your face as you realize how blessed you are. Start the year with Gratitude and find reasons to be thankful everyday. If this is a culture you would like to cultivate, then consider having a gratitude journal or a thank you jar where you write ‘thank you’ notes everyday and drop them in the jar.  When you find yourself whining and complaining, take your thank you jar or gratitude journal and remind yourself of the good things that have happened to you. 

If you are like me, you will possibly start and then fumble and lose momentum along the way… but don’t let that stop you. You might forget to note what you are thankful for a couple of days, but when you remember, please pick up your pen and write another thank you note. 

I want to end by thanking you for sparing your time to read my article. I wish you a great year ahead full of great moments and great lessons through the wins and the painful losses. Count your blessing today and know that God is able to do so much more than you can think, ask or even imagine. 

If you are looking for a place that will challenge you to grow both personally and professionally, I recommend the One-on-One Coaching programs facilitated by Njeri Muchunu. She is the Coach who has challenged my thinking and how I perceive life and for that I am forever grateful.

read more
Njeri MuchunuSTART WITH GRATITUDE
spiritual_new.jpg

Wait on God

I don’t know anyone who enjoys waiting. However, waiting is what we are sometimes called to do, and like many things that seem counter-intuitive to our human nature, waiting is sometimes what is needed and what is best. Over the years, I’ve had to learn the concept of waiting on the Lord the hard way. After many failings and difficult lessons and finally becoming a constant work-in-progress, I wanted to write this blog to encourage you.

In our fast-paced world of increasing industry and global disruptions, artificial intelligence, and global expansion, all combined with a desire to be not only the best in the world but the best for the world, how does a leader navigate through this sea of activity? Being a “Best for the World Leader,” it is implied that the world, and the people in it, are better off because you lived.

We get caught up in what society tells us that we should always be advancing, moving upward, or making progress. When those things don’t happen, we tend to become discouraged, even to feel defeated, when what we needed to be doing is exactly what we have been doing, holding our position, enduring. It is often no small feat to be able to do so. In fact, in the words of Christ, “it is the one who endures to the end who will be saved”.

Waiting is not glamorous. Regardless of where you are serving or to what you have been called to do, there may be times when you are asked to wait, to endure, to bear up under. It is important that you do so. Most of us would naturally want to get out from under our difficulties or hardships. It may be a work situation or a relationship that we have had to endure. There are times our circumstances or situation seems entirely unjust. But we are called to wait. But wait for what and until when?

If we take the example of Habakkuk who is known as the praying and waiting prophet we learn a few things. Habakkuk sought the Lord saying “How long, O Lord, must I call for help?” This was a lament, a desperate cry for help in the midst of great trouble. Habakkuk’s words were a complaint; he had major issues to take up with God. I suspect you do as well if you are honest. Habakkuk was attentive to what was going on around him. Despite his prayers, he saw violence, injustice, and wrongdoing everywhere. God’s law appeared to be helpless; it did not seem to work, and the wrongdoers seem to have gotten the upper hand.

Apparently, Habakkuk had repeatedly called upon God to act, to intervene, to set things right, to just do something. Yet it seemed that God had not heard him and God would not act to save. Finally, out of a deep sense of frustration and confusion, he cries out to God, “How long, O Lord, must I call for your help, but you do not listen?!” There is nothing worse than speaking but not being heard, than addressing another who doesn’t listen or respond.

In Scripture, to wait is to be active, to do something, something very important. In fact, it is the most important thing we do, since waiting is an expression of faith, of being open and receptive to God, to God’s action, to God’s voice, to God’s will, to God’s answer.

To wait is to be patient, which literally means “to suffer,” or to be acted upon rather than acting, to be receptive to the action of others. To wait and to be patient is to trust that God is at work even if we can’t see or understand what God is doing at any given moment of time.

So, what are we waiting for?

We are waiting for God. Faith is a willingness to trust that God knows best and will bring our lives and the world to a good completion. This is God’s vision for the world, what God has promised, and what we, by faith, trust will surely come in God’s good time, and in God’s good way.

And here we are, waiting for God, wondering together, “How long, O Lord?”

The hard truth is, we don’t know. We must trust that God knows how long and what he is doing. Contrary to many skeptics, our faith is not wishful thinking. Our faith rests upon something solid, something firm, and something strong enough to sustain it. Our faith rests upon God’s sure and certain promises spoken in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Martin Luther said, “Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace, so sure and certain that the believer would stake his or her life on it.” Moreover, he said, “Faith is a divine work in us which changes us and makes us to be born anew of God.”

Our world is changing at lightning speed. Conventional wisdom would set our priorities to strive to keep up with the latest information, technology, and intelligence. It is uncomfortable and counter-intuitive in this fast-paced, rapidly changing world to “Wait on the Lord.” The wisdom, knowledge, and direction gained from the Lord through waiting is counter-intuitive to most leadership models, but it is exactly what is necessary to lead with confidence as we strive to be Best for the World Leaders who stand out from the rest.

For more on leadership, follow us on our social media platforms Facebook, TwitterYouTube and Instagram. Also, reach out to us and learn more on how to be a leader devoted to leaving a legacy by leading him/herself.

read more
Njeri MuchunuWait on God
Find_Yourself-Njeri-Muchunu-Blog.jpg

Find Yourself!

Last week’s article ended with a question. Njeri, how then do I discover my Purpose/Calling/Mission in life? Well, the answer is easy, find yourself. However, finding yourself is the most difficult thing ever. It is a journey and like I always like to say, not for the faint of heart.

One of the reasons 70 percent of employees are disengaged at work is because people don’t understand the greater purpose or mission behind what they do and most managers and leaders never try to move people toward something greater. If an employee’s mission is about himself and the manager’s mission is about herself; it is easy to see the clash happening.

A while back, a thought crossed my mind: nobody wants to work for me! I’ve realized that the ultimate motivation is not that people want to work for me but rather that people want to work for a mission that is greater than me – a cause that gets them out of bed every morning. They want to make a difference. People want to make the world a better place. They want to put a dent in the universe and if I as a leader can help them do that, I’ll have a motivated team for years to come. My friends, money is not the mission. Money funds the mission. I am not the mission. My role is to point people to the mission – a mission worth them spending a major chunk of their lives working towards. Let people know that their efforts have made a difference in someone else’s life and they will look forward to getting themselves out of bed.

You may be asking, why is finding myself, finding my calling. Who you are is the answer to why you are here – your Purpose. On the journey to finding yourself, you unpack your life, find out what has been holding you back all this time, let go of it, find out what your strengths and values are and then you will have discovered your true north. Jesus was very clear when he said the words “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” In other words, the very thing we fear most – surrendering control of our lives – is the key to finding yourself and thereby finding your Calling.

Let me ask you my friend, who are you and why are you here? Which Kingdom are you living for? The truth is, left unchecked, I will always live for the Kingdom of ME! Even as a person who loves the Lord, I can let my prayer life and my overall life quickly become “My Kingdom come, my will be done.” I have found that the alternative to living for myself is dying to myself. I know how terrifying that sounds but if you think about it more deeply, you will realize that it is a pretty good idea. This is the reason I keep surrendering to it.

I have come to the realization that a life devoted to self ultimately leaves you alone. Selfish people drive others away. Selfishness breaks up marriages, destroys relationships between parents and children, ruins friendships, and in the workplace makes you a leader no one wants to follow. And guess what, you will wallow in self-pity wondering why no one likes you. Conversely, when you die to self, something greater rises. When you are no longer about you – when you are over yourself, have found yourself and your reason for existing – you live beyond yourself and you are finally in a position where God can use you.

So, how do you find a mission that’s not about you? I encourage you to put Christ at the center of your mission. Maybe you already do that or you are not quite there yet. What I know for sure, having lived life on both sides, is that the emptiness will go away only when you decide to make life less about you and more about others.

My friends, the Kingdom of Me is a sad kingdom and it leaves you feeling empty. It is time to die to it!

In the process of giving your life away, you will find it.

read more
Njeri MuchunuFind Yourself!
whats-your-calling-blog-post.jpg

Where is My Life Going?

Are you wandering around aimlessly in your life or are you living a purposeful life?

For most of my life, I just lived without giving much thought to what the purpose of living was. However, twelve (12) years ago, I started to ponder what the purpose of my life was. I had just lost a job that I loved, friends that I thought I had (clearly, I was wrong), trying to get out of an extremely toxic relationship and everything seemed to have fallen apart. My world had been turned upside down. For some reason, it all seemed to have happened in a split second. I felt a void as I pondered. I’d spent over a quarter of my life jumping from one job to another, one thing to the next, one qualification to the next. These things filled my life and my time and I never quite had the opportunity to sit back and reflect.

I went from having a full-time job to being unemployed, having many friends to questioning who my true friends were; or even if I had friends at all and on and on. Is how life is supposed to pan out, I questioned?

It was during this season that I made a decision to find out what my calling in life was. Arriving at “this is who I am and this is what I am here to do” didn’t happen right away. It took days, months, years of tossing and turning in bed at night wondering what was wrong with my meticulously-planned life and how I was going to fix it. It was then that I realized that I needed to call upon my Maker for help because I really and truly had no one else. He was the only one who could fix me. I was broken and when a thing is broken you take it back to its manufacturer for fixing.

Your calling is very hard to discover. It would be much easier if our lives came with a manual that clearly showed us what our passions and talents are and with instructions on what to do with them. The harsh reality is that is doesn’t and so many of us end up settling for a life that really doesn’t fulfill us.

Like you, I thought I could figure this one out all on my own. After all, I am in control of my life – or so I thought. How wrong was I? It turned out that having the one-on-one support of a Coach to see what you don’t, call you out on beliefs that don’t serve you, and push you to out-dream your own dreams is exactly what I needed to step off the path of obligation – the path of should’s – and start floating through the world of my God-given gifts that would take me where God was sending me – my assignment – where I would play my part in making the world a better place.

You have to do the work. You have to dig deep. You have to be willing to unpack yourself – even those hidden -away parts that you thought you never wanted to see again. It can get uncomfortable, very very uncomfortable, but I assure you that you will feel so free once you clean out a part of your house you’ve neglected for all your life. You will have a new heart and a new life. Having a coach ask you the right questions, challenge your thinking and at the same time make you feel safe allows you to Stand in Your Truth. This then allows you to decide, consciously, to step into something bigger than yourself.

I believe everyone has a calling. The answer is within you. Your role is to step out, make the necessary sacrifices and decide that this aspiration is worth all of you. Follow your heart and be open to the possibilities in your own life.

No matter how it may feel to start the journey, the world needs you. The world also needs you to be YOU. It needs your talent and gifts in the way only you can share them. It’s your duty to show up, do the work and live your God-given Truth.

As a leader, if would like to find your calling, I am the person you need. I will take you on a journey of rediscovering yourself, your dreams and what truly makes your heart beat. You will be transformed from a leader and influencer into an agent of change. Reach out to us and we will be more than happy to walk this journey with you.

Follow us on our social media handles: FacebookInstagram and Twitter and YouTube and get to learn more about being the person you were created to be.

read more
Njeri MuchunuWhere is My Life Going?
2306191-John-Rzeznik-Quote-I-just-want-you-to-know-who-I-am-scaled.jpg

Who am I?

If I asked you today who you are, what would your answer be? I can almost guess the answer because I have asked many of my leader clients who they are and guess what their answer was? Yes, exactly what you are thinking. I am the chief executive officer of my company, I am the Head of this and that department, I am a father, I am a mother, I lead worship in church. And the descriptions go on and on. It is interesting to note that the first answer will always be the thing that gives you a sense of greatest importance. The thing that you think will make an impression.

Who you are has nothing to do with the roles you hold. The responses listed above are all roles that we hold in society. Who you are refers to your identity outside of your roles. What am I saying here? For instance, if you were not a parent, an employee/executive, or did not hold any of these roles, who would you define yourself as? Think about it. Strip yourself of all the labels that you hold and then tell me who you are.

Yes, I know! This is a very difficult question. It also took me quite a while to find out the answer. However, when I did, I was set free. The answer showed me that I cannot fit in a box. Whether I have a role or not, a job or not, wherever I go I can be that person and perform at my best.

During this COVID season, many of us are pondering on this question. We have lost our jobs and this is the thing that was giving us a sense of identity. What now? Where does that leave me? I am of no value to anyone let alone myself.

If this is how you are feeling, don’t lose heart. This question is usually triggered by a change in the season of our lives, whether positive or negative, good or bad. The question is vital in shaping you, how you live and why you are here.

By answering the question “Who am I?” you discover God’s plan for your life and who He has created you to be. It will also empower you to be a shining light to those around you.

Would you like to know who you are? Then let’s chat on the 19th of June 2020 from 7:00 pm – 7:30pm on my Facebook page Transforming Leaders from the Inside Out where I will give you some tips on how to start working on your identity and come to a firm understanding of who you are. I will also share with you, who I am.

read more
Njeri MuchunuWho am I?
resilient.jpg

Self Worth

I was chatting with a good friend of me the other day and she said to me that someone had commented on the cost of a service and said “I am surprised at what she is charging for her services. What’s worse, she has put it out there for the world to see!”. Many would take this as an offence but in my view, I see this as a compliment. This is a sign that the person in being in question truly knows her worth and she has no apologies to make for it.

Do you know who you are and what you are worth? When you believe in yourself and fully know your worth, the little things won’t get to you. When you know your worth, what others say about you doesn’t matter. When you know the person you are, the opinions of others won’t seem as important as they once did. Knowing your worth doesn’t mean having it all together. Knowing your worth means you believe in yourself enough to know what you deserve. Knowing your worth can truly outline your decisions and how you react to certain situations.

Five things that people who know their worth do different are:

  1. They don’t pass judgement;
  2. They don’t say yes, unless they really want to;
  3. They are not afraid to be wrong;
  4. They stick their neck out – they say “what’s stopping me?”; and
  5. They celebrate other people.

Remember, knowing your self-worth is a journey and not a destination. Self-worth is something that takes a long time for many people to realize, it’s not easy. What is important though, is to start the journey. Unless you take one step, you will never move closer to living the truest highest version of yourself!

I leave you with the statement below that says “Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”

read more
Njeri MuchunuSelf Worth