At my “Wits’ End”!

I received a phone call recently from a dear friend. Panicked, she began to tell me that she felt as if she were at her Wits’ End. She was out of options, out of ideas, out of patience. She did not know what to say or what to do.

I instantly related to her words.

How about you? Ever found yourself at Wits’ End? What situation do you find yourself in? Legal suits, marriage falling apart, the loss of your job, the loss of your home, your children are out of control and you feel as though you can’t stay in the house one more day? Are you tired of hearing bad news of deaths, murder, corruption and always wondering what going on?

Well, my friend, you are not alone. We are facing decisions that need answers, building projects that need finances, children who need school fees, rent that needs to be paid, physical illnesses that need healing, right? In fact, I believe we are in a season right now that the enemy would love to have us confess that we are hopeless and helpless, even feeling as if we were losing our minds; in a season when the enemy is trying to quench our passion by trying to wear us out. But that is a lie!

The ancient definition of “wit” is “knowledge” and “wisdom.” Therefore, this phrase means that many of us are or could be or are at the end of our knowledge and wisdom in finding the answers and solutions we need. Storms and difficult times have a way of making us focus on what really matters in life. We tend to set everything straight and put our lives back on the right path.

Let’s look at a storm from the Old Testament in the Bible.

In the scriptures, we see a true-to-life experience. There was a storm; a very big storm. The sailors found themselves at “Wits’ End”. So, what did they do? They cried out to God to save them. God heard them and stilled the storm and brought them to their desired haven.

My question to you today is this, what in your life have you been trying to solve all by yourself and still you have found no solution? You have always believed in your abilities to the point where you play God. For the longest time, you have been your own solution giver and you have never needed anyone. For a long time, many have turned to you for help and you have always seemed to have all the answers. Now, you are faced with a number of problems (you are in serious debt, your seemingly perfect marriage is falling apart, you got fired from your plush job and your friends have all deserted you). For starters, you are ashamed to share your issues with others because of the perception you have created about yourself, and secondly, you have literally reached your “Wits’ End”! So, what are you going to do now? God existed in your life and was your only source when things were really bad when you were starting out but now, why would you need Him? After all, you are self-made!

The Bible tells us of such a man. His name was King Solomon. He was the wisest man that ever lived. This man started his walk with the Lord with tremendous zeal and passion, only to waver later and lose his focus. Since he was wise, he figured he could do what he wanted and he went against God’s directives and married foreign women and worshipped the gods of his many wives. He messed up real good!

My friend, many of us have messed up and wavered in our faith and maybe even created an Ishmael. But it’s never too late to make the wise choice to “consider” and “meditate” on what God said. Abraham fulfilled his destiny by considering God’s promise. Joshua had to continue to consider and meditate on the Word of God in order to tear down the seemingly impregnable wall of Jericho! Whenever we go astray from God’s directives, it is Satan’s plan to cause us not to finish well. Not putting God first is a form of idolatry. Solomon was given wisdom in response to his asking for wisdom. The same wisdom is available to you.

My friend, “Wits’ End” for these sailors in the above story was after trying everything they could think of to solve their problem but they still remained in trouble. But that’s what you do, right? You try to fix things until it’s too late and you are at “Wits End” and you know now you are in serious trouble.

But it does not have to be like this. There is a solution to not getting to your “Wits End”. Would you like to find out this solution?

Join me tomorrow as I share 5 points on how we can recover and get our lives back on track. In the meantime, feel free to browse through our website as well as our social media handles on facebookInstagram and twitter.

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Njeri MuchunuAt my “Wits’ End”!


I am deeply saddened by today’s global culture, which is a culture of fatherlessness. This culture teaches or has taught people to think like they are orphans and therefore renders an orphan defenseless in their own minds. The traditional family structure has changed in ways that deprive children of a minimal relationship with their father, even when the father is alive or physically present. A father will model the image of a father that is presented to them either by their own parents, media depictions of fathers, or their own peers.

An abusive uninterested father alienates his children. Often, the result is anger towards the father and depression. Harsh and humiliating words destroy the child’s view of themselves and result in a profound sense of rejection. A silent or uninvolved father communicates to the child that the child’s interests are of no particular value to the father and therefore the child is unimportant. Children (and that is many of us) raised in such environments do not normally think of having a destiny, but instead, struggle every day with simply surviving.

Survival and a search for identity are goals of the orphan mindset produced by the current global culture which has usurped the individuals’ identity and replaced it with an identity dominated by the struggle for provision and protection. Because of this culture, the fatherless generation holds a deep-seated distrust of their fathers’ generation. When authority figures in their fathers’ generation try to influence the fatherless generation direction, the fatherless generation usually responds with contempt. This disconnect between the older authority figures and the fatherless generation is rooted largely in the younger generations’ refusal to accept guidance from a generation from whom they feel estranged.

I wish to speak to you today from a Kingdom of God perspective. Whereas a fatherless culture produces orphans, God created you and me as His children and heirs to His Kingdom. My friend, are you aware that you don’t need to struggle, feel alone, be depressed, suffer mental illness as a child of God? You were once with God but now have decided to go out all on your own because you have been convinced that God does not care about you. That He does not love you and that He does not exist. God says that He cares for you because you are His child and He wants you to go back to Him. Why would He create you and give you His image and likeness if He did not care for you or love you?

Just like a father does, God allows you to exercise your own free will. The case of the prodigal son comes to mind. This son asked his father to give him his inheritance. He thought that he did not need his father anymore because he was now educated, of age, and had the money he needed. He thought he knew it all and was an adult and wanted independence. He, therefore, opted to go away and do life by himself. And he squandered that life in the name of having fun until that life was not worth living outside of the love of his father. And guess what, he decided to go back home to his father, even if as a servant, but just so that he could have the love, protection, and provision only a father can give.

My friends, God is aware of how hard it is to live in this world that is ruled by the enemy. He wants you to come back to Him so that He can show you what His love looks like and give you what is rightfully yours. You don’t have to live like an orphan anymore; you don’t have to feel alone anymore. You don’t have to go around wondering who is there to help you. Your Father in heaven is there for you but he will not force Himself on you.

Talk me to and I will walk with you and reintroduce you to your Father who loves and cares for you and wants to give you what is rightfully yours.

You have struggled long enough! It is time to come back home

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Corrupt Heart!

Each time I write an article about a leadership challenge, I look at it from a personal perspective and how I can first purify my own heart on the said issue. My mantra is, don’t go removing the speck in another’s eye before checking for the log in your own eye. I am not saying I am perfect – no, not at all. None is righteous – but I am, by God’s grace striving to be the salt of the earth.

Stories of corruption in our country have become the norm. I mean, we have become so corrupt that we have lost all feeling. We have become such a sick people and we are paying the price for being corrupt with the lives of our children and fellow men.

But where does this corruption really begin? If we know where it begins then it is easy to see it for what it is and then work on finding a solution. Does the life or heart of man become corrupted first?

Having worked in law enforcement, seen first-hand the rot in this nation, and working tirelessly to put in place systems that will curb the vice, I am fully convinced that corruption is a matter of the heart. No matter how many laws are implemented, unless the change is from within a person, then all our works are of no consequence.

There is an inner conflict that is present in every person. The conflict or battle is the tension that exists between what is right, and what we want – our desires. We find that we regularly want things that are not right. Our desires and our values do not always match. Unless the ignorant and hardened heart of man is changed, then there is no fixing this vice. My friends, all trouble starts from the heart. Our hearts are sick. People always think that man’s head is messed up, but I say no, it is the heart that is messed up.

If a man wants to change his conduct, his heart must first be changed. I can give good reasons to people who do not believe in reasons for the existence of God and they respond by saying “this sounds very reasonable”. I can then tell them the reason that the Lord is the Savior. Again, they respond by saying that this sounds very reasonable. But this is not enough to make them believe. Man’s head is not hardened in nature; his heart is. We refuse to believe in that which does not serve our selfish desires.

Corruption is just a symptom. The core of the problem is a hardened heart. I am not saying that the person’s actions are not wrong in themselves, what I am saying here is that the core of the problem is a hardened heart that is driven by its own lustful desires of what it wants. Therefore, the heart must first become right before the action can be corrected. It is useless to deal with the symptom. The only way to cure the problem is to deal with the source.

Let me give an example. We all can admit that the right thing to do is exercise. But my heart wants/desires to eat pizza, sit on the couch, and watch a movie. I acknowledge that it is right to invest for my future – short term pain, long term gain. But my heart desires a new cell phone with the latest features. On the surface, this inner conflict may seem like nothing more than a slight annoyance. It can be easily dismissed as a personal quirk or a minor inconsistency in our character. This struggle can lead to some humorous situations. You may tell your children that it is not good to eat junk food late at night, but on that same evening, they will see you enjoying a bowl of ice cream after the usual dining hours. You might be able to dismiss that incident or similar demonstrations of your inner struggle with a laugh, but as time passes, we find that this annoying inner conflict reveals something deeply troubling about ourselves. We tend to trade what is best for cheap imitations of true satisfaction. We settle for temporary thrills when eternal value is available.

Have you ever noticed that some of our greatest disappointments come when we get exactly what we want? Let me share an example of what I mean.

Omolo has been saving money for years. He finally gets his driver’s license, and he is ready to buy his first car. Each one of his paychecks has been placed in a special account, and he finally gets to acquire what his heart has desired for years. He considered the day he bought his first car as one of the memorable moments of his life. However, within weeks of that day, the elation that Omolo experienced turned to disillusion and disappointment as he realized the costs associated with purchasing gas, paying for oil changes, and acquiring insurance. Furthermore, he is starting to suspect that the car of his dreams is not what he expected, as he visits mechanic after mechanic, trying to find a solution to the electrical problem.

Omolo received exactly what he wanted, but he was left feeling disappointed and empty.

Many of the things the heart desires might be perfectly acceptable. I like German cars, cell phones, watching movies etc. By themselves, these things are not inherently bad. However, when my desire for things consumes me to the level where I have to lie, steal, coerce to get ahead then I must stop and check my heart.

I am fully convinced that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” especially corruption. It’s root – a corrupt heart. Notice that the Bible does not say that money is evil, but rather it warns that the disposition of our hearts can be changed when we love money. Money is not evil; in fact it can be a very helpful tool. We use money to buy food and clothes. We can use money to advance God’s Kingdom and to bring relief to those who have been wounded and are in pain in our world. But even though money can be a useful tool, our hearts are constantly led astray by this gift.

The problem is not that money is bad, but that our hearts are so easily corrupted. We can begin to love gifts that God has given more than people. To worship the created and not the Creator.

My friends, corruption reveals the disposition of our hearts and thus we need to look inside ourselves, work on our hearts, and our desires if we are to see healing in this world.

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Njeri MuchunuCorrupt Heart!

Leadership and Surrender

You’ll rarely encounter the words leadership and surrender used together in a complementary fashion. Society has labeled surrender as a sign of leadership weakness, when in fact, it can be among the greatest of leadership strengths. The whole idea of surrendering to someone else’s control runs counter to the prevailing mindset of our culture—we don’t want anyone telling us what to do—we want to be in control of our own lives! But paradoxically, we are never truly free until we have fully surrendered ourselves to the Word and will of God – our Maker/Creator.

Let me be clear, I’m not encouraging giving in or giving up – I am suggesting you learn the ever so subtle art of letting go as a Leader.

My friends, surrender is not:

1. Some big gesture we make just once: It is a daily choice. We surrender right up until our very last breath.


2. The same as compliance: Let me give you an example; Why do so many addicts do everything right in treatment, get discharged, only to relapse hours later? Because surrender has nothing to do with will power and has everything to do with relinquishing control and asking for His help to overcome. It begins with admitting you are not in control and handing yourself over to a higher power.

Surrender is a blank cheque, without restrictions. It’s you telling God, “All I have, all I am, all I ever hope to be—I offer to you.” It’s like a dye that bleeds through everything in our lives. It affects our obedience; it affects our sacrifice; it affects our behavior and most importantly it affects our leadership. Surrender exposes our hearts and shows us who we truly are.

I truly understand how tough it can be to lead a surrendered life because I struggled with it most of my life. When I understood it through having a relationship with God and Trusting Him, it was the best thing that happened to me. I promise you, there is no safer place to be.

The question you must be asking yourself is, why am I so afraid to surrender? Well, the answer is you do not trust. Surrender requires trust. You really don’t trust God. And where does the lack of trust come from – a lack of relationship with Him. It is not easy for anyone to trust someone they have no relationship with. If you want to get to know God better, you will need to do what you would do when getting to know a friend or dating someone – spend time with them – lots of time. The truth of the matter is that we all want a break – heck, we all need a break from this broken world. It’s not like you enjoy the struggles you go through daily or enjoy bearing all the burdens that seem to follow you everywhere. That is why we are told to cast our burdens unto Him because He cares.

My friends, this life we have been given was never meant to make us comfortable or for us to seek our own happiness. No! If you consider yourself a leader or aspire to be one, you must live and lead a life of surrender understanding that you cannot control what happens in this world. This season of COVID-19 has shown us how leaders who have always believed they are in control of everything feel completely out of control. Their plans, strategies and all their good intentions are not amounting to much. It is in such times that Leaders need to seek, search and live for something greater than themselves.

The truth is that a leader simply operates at their best when they understand their ability to influence is much more impactful than their ability to control. Here’s the thing – the purpose of leadership is not to shine the spotlight on yourself, but to unlock the potential of others so they can in turn shine the spotlight on countless more. Control is about power – not leadership. Surrender allows a leader to get out of their own way and focus on adding value to those whom they serve.

Today, you have the power to let go and surrender from whatever it is that has you held hostage; to really buy-in and give it all to God.

Go ahead.

Accept God’s will, obey the Lord, and surrender yourself totally to His leading.

I promise, there is no safer place to be.

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Njeri MuchunuLeadership and Surrender

Where is My Life Going?

Are you wandering around aimlessly in your life or are you living a purposeful life?

For most of my life, I just lived without giving much thought to what the purpose of living was. However, twelve (12) years ago, I started to ponder what the purpose of my life was. I had just lost a job that I loved, friends that I thought I had (clearly, I was wrong), trying to get out of an extremely toxic relationship and everything seemed to have fallen apart. My world had been turned upside down. For some reason, it all seemed to have happened in a split second. I felt a void as I pondered. I’d spent over a quarter of my life jumping from one job to another, one thing to the next, one qualification to the next. These things filled my life and my time and I never quite had the opportunity to sit back and reflect.

I went from having a full-time job to being unemployed, having many friends to questioning who my true friends were; or even if I had friends at all and on and on. Is how life is supposed to pan out, I questioned?

It was during this season that I made a decision to find out what my calling in life was. Arriving at “this is who I am and this is what I am here to do” didn’t happen right away. It took days, months, years of tossing and turning in bed at night wondering what was wrong with my meticulously-planned life and how I was going to fix it. It was then that I realized that I needed to call upon my Maker for help because I really and truly had no one else. He was the only one who could fix me. I was broken and when a thing is broken you take it back to its manufacturer for fixing.

Your calling is very hard to discover. It would be much easier if our lives came with a manual that clearly showed us what our passions and talents are and with instructions on what to do with them. The harsh reality is that is doesn’t and so many of us end up settling for a life that really doesn’t fulfill us.

Like you, I thought I could figure this one out all on my own. After all, I am in control of my life – or so I thought. How wrong was I? It turned out that having the one-on-one support of a Coach to see what you don’t, call you out on beliefs that don’t serve you, and push you to out-dream your own dreams is exactly what I needed to step off the path of obligation – the path of should’s – and start floating through the world of my God-given gifts that would take me where God was sending me – my assignment – where I would play my part in making the world a better place.

You have to do the work. You have to dig deep. You have to be willing to unpack yourself – even those hidden -away parts that you thought you never wanted to see again. It can get uncomfortable, very very uncomfortable, but I assure you that you will feel so free once you clean out a part of your house you’ve neglected for all your life. You will have a new heart and a new life. Having a coach ask you the right questions, challenge your thinking and at the same time make you feel safe allows you to Stand in Your Truth. This then allows you to decide, consciously, to step into something bigger than yourself.

I believe everyone has a calling. The answer is within you. Your role is to step out, make the necessary sacrifices and decide that this aspiration is worth all of you. Follow your heart and be open to the possibilities in your own life.

No matter how it may feel to start the journey, the world needs you. The world also needs you to be YOU. It needs your talent and gifts in the way only you can share them. It’s your duty to show up, do the work and live your God-given Truth.

As a leader, if would like to find your calling, I am the person you need. I will take you on a journey of rediscovering yourself, your dreams and what truly makes your heart beat. You will be transformed from a leader and influencer into an agent of change. Reach out to us and we will be more than happy to walk this journey with you.

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Njeri MuchunuWhere is My Life Going?

Personal Branding

I spoke to a leader today who told me that they are working with a coach to brand themselves as well as increase their brand presence on social media. This rather intrigued me because the person I was speaking to is a leader and an influencer for all intents and purposes. What I mean is, once you hear their title, you will wonder to yourself why they need coaching on personal branding. You would assume that they would just leverage their title and voila, you have a personal brand. But I thought about it and I wondered, hhmmmm….. is personal branding truly the issue in question or is this person in pursuit of finding out who they really are. Secondly, what are the reasons behind the desire to brand themselves? So what? Think of it this way, I get a good coach, they help me with how I can go about branding myself, I do it and then what? What is my end game?

I know, I am asking a lot of questions but this is the only way you and I will get answers. Leaders ask many many questions.

Personal branding without knowing who you are in my books is a non-starter. However, I believe that this is a very noble cause and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

A word of caution though. If you are going to proceed to brand yourself, consider examining your heart first. When wading into digital space, you have to check your heart. Why are you building a presence on social media? What is your main driving force? I believe you must first establish the motive behind your doing so. If the reason for doing so is self-seeking, then don’t do it. First, it is not worth your time and effort and secondly, you may not be ready to receive the backlash that will be sent your way. In you thinking this may be a good self-serving idea to make money fast and to gain popularity, if you don’t know who you are, your self-esteem may be destroyed in a flash.

If you are a true leader, a leader of high moral standing, one driven by conviction, remember that personal branding and creating a digital presence comes with pressure and expectations. In today’s times, you will be looked upon for guidance and encouragement. A brand is often something that others admire. Ensure that in all that you do, you do it for the glory of God and to serve humanity. Live with a brand that is pleasing to God, that will honor Him forever. A personal and spiritual brand that lifts others up and draws people to hope and love. Be someone whose brand screams LOVE!

We would love to hear from you. Let us know what your thoughts on personal branding are and remember, if you need to rediscover who you are, why on earth you are here and what you can do to leave the world better than you found it, you can contact us here.

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Njeri MuchunuPersonal Branding

Principled Leadership

Adolf Hitler came to office promising the German people a return to their former glory as a nation. Yet, once he was führer, his distorted values and love for self-gratification grew increasingly clear as he persecuted Germany’s citizens for his own selfish purposes.

In every area of life – government, business, religion, media, education and so forth – there are people who aspire to positions of leadership and influence motivated by selfish ambition. They may not have to go to the extreme of persecuting or murdering people, but their selfish ambition causes other types of human and social destruction. Think about it this way my friends:

How might tax-paying citizens be better off if various corporate leaders had not participated in financial impropriety? How would the lives of these executives, their families and their employees be different? How might the financial markets be different today?
 How much would the lives of Kenyans in drought-stricken areas be different if leaders hadn’t lined their pockets with foreign aid rather than giving it to those who needed it?
 How might the emotional mindset of many children be healthier today if their parents had thought more about them than their own selfish pursuits?
 How might the lives of millions of people be free from guilt, depression and even disease if they had decided not to compromise their standards for temporary pleasure or gain?

True leadership cannot be divorced from the basic qualities that produce good, sound character. Leadership involves the total person and cannot be relegated to a “professional compartment” of our lives.

Do you ever look at your organization’s C-suite or read about the things high-profile people say in the news and wonder where the principled leaders are? They leave observers and stakeholders asking: do you have to leave your ethics and morals behind to become successful?

The answer is no and there is hope for change. We have the power to stop accepting unprincipled behavior by first raising our own moral compass. The time is ripe to acknowledge that principled leadership and high-performance can and do go hand in hand. In spite of what some might believe, you can be principled and lead successfully.

Triumph and victory involve hard work and honest effort. As a principled leader, you must acquire deep knowledge and communicate the right messages to the right people so they willingly ‘enlist’. Then, they will want to support and follow you. People want to follow principled leaders who share a hopeful and promising vision of a brighter future and who orient efforts toward noble goals.

So how can you become a more principled leader?

1. Discipline.

Principled and high-performing leaders are disciplined people. They put their personal health, well-being and state of mind on their priority list, and strive to perfect their systems and routines. Successful leaders are disciplined at work and at home. They are fueled by the mindset that they want to do their very best, so they prioritize a disciplined approach in most aspects of life. They cultivate healthy habits that support their vibrancy so they continue to operate as high-performers that engage and inspire others.

Such habits may include:

i. Getting a full night’s rest, often waking up early and going to bed early.
ii. Consciously working on knowing themselves.
iii. Rarely, if ever, shifting blame onto others for their mistakes and misfortunes, opting instead to tune into why they’re having an off day or week and focusing on resetting.
iv. Working hard and expecting the same of their teams.

2. Self-Study.

A principled leader reflects on his or her own actions, intentions and vision. With a beginner’s mind, principled and self-reflective leaders are humble and know they don’t have all the answers all the time. They are consummate learners eager to do better and to learn more about themselves and others. With humility, they listen to the views and opinions of others and feed their base of knowledge. Knowing that perfection is an illusion, they open themselves up to others by sharing their personal successes and failures to serve as teaching moments. They see mistakes as opportunities to learn and develop themselves.

3. Orientation.

Armed with vision and goals, principled leaders consider that all acts, works, and even thoughts should be oriented toward benefiting something greater than themselves. Their internal compass points towards improvement for all. It offers them meaning and purpose and satisfies the inner sense that knows that we are all human and we are all in this together.

When performed as a triad, discipline, self-study and orientation mean successful and principled leaders show up and do their very best all the time. These qualities invite a perpetual mode of self-betterment that keeps each leader humble and growing, all while directing and measuring their regular and small efforts toward leaving the world a better place where all humans have an opportunity to thrive.

If you would like to learn more about true leadership follow us on Facebook and YouTube. Additionally, browse our website and see what services we have to offer and then reach out to us. I believe that you as a leader can leave the world better than you found it.

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Njeri MuchunuPrincipled Leadership

Leader Dishonesty!

How dishonest have we become as a people? How has dishonesty become a way of life in our nation. In the name of COVID-19 more and more funds are being wasted and stolen. More and more lives are lost to floods and evictions. And the excuse is COVID-19. We are caught up in on-going press conferences which are nothing more than PR stunts. We have been lied to over and over again and have become so insensitive to these lies!

They call themselves leaders but honestly, they espouse no leadership in anything they do. In an interview with a radio presenter on April 30th 2020, a well-known politician claimed he had settled the hospital bill of a DJ, whom he shot at point blank range by the way, was discharged. “He is just waiting to be taken home. The reason why he has not been taken home is because of the corona-virus situation,” said the politician.

Fortunately for all of us, the father to the injured DJ rejected the claims. He stated thus, “He is still in hospital and as we speak, I’m in the ward with him. The bill is still too high. The politician paid only Sh5 million of the Sh16 million bill.”

This is the kind of dishonesty that we are seeing in our nation today. Blatant, outright lies!

Leader dishonesty has become a pandemic and it has occasioned, induced and exacerbated an unethical national and global culture with low trust and low confidence. We lack a sense of directions and we seem to all be groping in the dark.

In our nation, leader dishonesty has gone unchecked and we can associate it with the serious social and economic cost we are currently encountering. My question to you Leaders is this? When did we become so insensitive? When did we start losing value for human life? When did we get comfortable with being lied to by our leaders and still proceed to applaud them for teaching maths online to various children?

Honesty, my friends, is the single most important “building block” in the leader-follower relationship. To many people, honesty is the same as sincerity, truthfulness, integrity, frankness, candour, and openness. Though some leaders don’t consciously realise it, honesty includes not only telling the truth, but also leaving the right impression. Albert Einstein said, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.

We all don’t want to be lied to. We don’t want to be deceived. We do want to be told the truth. We do want a leader who knows, right from wrong. Yes, we need leaders, but we don’t want to be led or misled by someone who cheats and manipulates others in the process of attaining victory. We want our leaders to be honest, because their honesty is a reflection of our own honesty. After-all, we elected these people and put them in office.

Of all the qualities that people look for and admire in a leader, honesty is by far the most personal. It is the quality that can most enhance or most damage your own personal reputation. If you follow someone who’s universally viewed as being of impeccable character and strong integrity, then you are likely to be viewed the same way. But, if you willingly follow someone who’s considered dishonest, your own image is tarnished.

As a leader, you are called to be the change that you want to see. Let me let you in on a little secret. You will not become an honest and better leader by reading a book, listening to a speech or attending training. This doesn’t mean that you can’t gain knowledge, but you will not become a better leader until you put that knowledge into practice.

We have all read great books, heard great speeches, and attended great training and then returned to our old habits. Yes, it’s true: old habits die hard! This following is true for me:

Knowledge without application is called trivia. It’s great for game shows and board games, but useless in making you better. If we want to become better at anything, you have to apply the knowledge you’re gaining. You have to start with yourself.

My fellow leaders, it is time for us to change the narrative and put an end to dishonesty. Be honest. Tell the truth. Let people know where you stand. Use simple language. Call things out for what they are. Demonstrate integrity. Don’t manipulate people. Don’t distort facts. Don’t spin the truth. Don’t leave false impressions. Bottom line: Tell the truth, Leave the right Impression and be honest!

You may be asking, Njeri, where do I begin? My friend, transformation begins on the inside. You need someone to walk with you and hold you accountable for your actions. Someone to ask you the difficult questions about why you do the things that you do. Could it be that you are dishonest because of low self-esteem? Perhaps you have achieved rewards and status which in turn facilitate self-affirmation and likewise enhance self-esteem for you as a leader who is lacking it. Unbeknownst to yourself, you may have engaged in unethical behaviours, such as corruption, lying, stealing etc… to facilitate such achievement. Corruption, like other dishonest acts, is not only motivated by external benefits, but also by internal rewards whose root cause may be low self-esteem. A need to fill up the void (which seems to grow bigger by the day, the more you acquire/achieve) on the inside with extrinsic things and accolades.

I, Njeri, am not here to judge you but to call things out as I see them. To speak the truth in love so as to help you become the person God created you to be. A person who has drawn a line in the sand and decided they want to be better. I want to repent and start again. I want to be transformed by the renewal of my mind. It starts here my friends. With you reaching out to us. Ours is a safe haven where we believe in second chances.

Call or write us today.

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Njeri MuchunuLeader Dishonesty!

Let Go of the Pain

“Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” Philippians 3:13

Have you ever felt like something is hampering your progress as a Leader? Do you feel as if you are being held back? Could something from your past be keeping you from going forward?

If you have experienced childhood abuse or neglect, you know about shame. You have likely been plagued by it all your life without identifying it as shame. You may feel shame because you blame yourself for the abuse itself (“My father wouldn’t have hit me if I had kept to myself when he was drunk”) and you felt such humiliation at not having defended yourself. In the African context, many of us were beaten by our parents as a form of discipline; and it worked. There is discipline and outright abuse and this is what I am speaking to.

On the other hand, those who were sexually abused tend to suffer from the most shame whereas those who suffered from physical, verbal, or emotional abuse blame themselves as well. In the case of child sexual abuse, no matter how many times you’ve heard the words “It’s not your fault,” chances are high that you still blame yourself in some way for being submissive, for not telling someone and having the abuse continue, for “enticing” the abuser with your behavior or dress, or because you felt some physical pleasure.

You may also feel shame because of things you have done as an adult to hurt yourself and others, such as abusing alcohol or drugs, becoming overly sexually promiscuous, breaking the law, physically abusing your wife, not realizing that these behaviors were a result of the abuse you suffered.

As a leader, you have to make a decision to let go of the past pain. You have got to decide not to listen to that voice of guilt that seems to be on loop in your head. I am not telling you to pretend that the hurt caused you did not happen. What I am saying is that you need to face that hurt, the pain, the rejection, the shame and then let go of it. You cannot hold on to the past and want to walk into the future. Your body will be physically here but your mind will still stuck back there.

You have got to stop using the shame of having an abortion, the guilt of a broken marriage, the sadness of a departed child, spouse, loved one, the condemnation that you are not good enough as excuses for not moving into your future. You have believed the lie of the enemy that you are messed up, you are a wounded soul, damaged and unwanted. You have believed the lie of the devil that you don’t deserve happiness. I want to remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You cannot change your past but you can seek help, embrace the pain and walk into your future. Don’t let the negative words of your parents define you. You carry these words with you everywhere and in doing so, you limit God. I know, I know, the experts, the teachers, your parents; they all said you are not qualified and these words always play back when you make a mistake or receive negative feedback. My friend, you need to be equipped on how to dull that inner critic and not base your potential on the words said by others.

I am in no way trying to minimize your pain or tell you that it is easy to get through. What I want to tell you is that it is possible to heal. It is possible to start again. It is possible to live a full life because what is impossible for man is possible for God. You have to fight the lie of the enemy. Stop focusing on the mistakes you have made and minimizing the power of God. Look to God, look up and not at your pain or the size of your problems. Remember, your past can give others a future. Work on rescuing others instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

You must have the courage to let go and embrace the pain of recovery. It is not easy but it is possible. It is a process of letting go day by day. The degree to which you are willing to embrace the pain is the degree to which you will recover. I say this because the pain of recovery is usually much worse than the pain of the injury. I have been through surgery and I can tell you that going under the knife is the easy part. Working towards full recovery means that you have to get up, feel the pain, but keep going anyway. I had to constantly wrestle with the pain and constantly engage with it but the fruit was amazing. No more pain.

There is nothing you can do to change your past but you can work hard and trust God to change your future. You must make a decision – it ends with me. You have to draw a bloodline on the sand and say “I have a future beyond my past”.

You have the power of God inside of you and your future has no room in your past. No matter how much you feel you have messed up, there is always a second chance. I know how it feels to put a lot of time, prayer and effort into something and then it fails – it hurts bad and you feel as though its your fault, as though you are a failure. There is always a way out but you must rise up, stand up and decide to move on. It does you absolutely no good to mourn over something you cannot change. How long are you going to live in regret, shame, guilt?

There are some things only you can do for yourself. No matter how much I want you to get well, to be healed, to be rid of the pain, you have to do the work yourself. You must come forward, ask for help and be willing to pay the price to be healed. No one can fix someone who does not want to be fixed. Not even God! If you make bad choices in life, don’t blame others for that. Own your problem. Take responsibility for your role in the issue and stop blaming others.

My friends, forgiving yourself is tough. It means striking a deal with yourself to let the past be the past and live in the present. I am here to walk this journey of healing as a Leader with you because I believe that you have a future beyond your past. Reach out to us.

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Njeri MuchunuLet Go of the Pain

Heart Leadership

Leadership is relational as much as it is positional.

As a leader, if you take a relational approach to leadership, you will never walk alone. If you are a positional leader on the other hand, you will often find yourself walking a very lonely road. Every time you use your title to “persuade” your people to do something, you create a distance between yourself and them. You are essentially saying, “I’m up here and you are down there, so do what I say”. This makes people feel small, alienates them and drives a wedge between you and them. A good leader does not belittle people. He/she enlarges them.

We are living in times when leadership, or lack thereof is being exposed. We have many positional leaders and very few relational leaders. For instance, no sooner had the first corona-virus case in Kenya been confirmed upon which President Uhuru Kenyatta outlined measures to contain it than some Cabinet Secretaries came out to issue edicts in succession. The import of such belated, even perfunctory action, is that Cabinet Secretaries are beholden to the presidency and cannot independently exercise authority bestowed upon them. Not that President Uhuru Kenyatta has his CS’s on a short leash they are simply lackadaisical as to cast Uhuru’s leadership as benignly totalitarian. Kenya deserves the likes of former Cabinet ministers Arthur Magugu, Karisa Maitha and John Michuki who eschewed the comforts of their offices for the practical; going out to the field, making sure everything worked as it was meant to.

Edicts issuing out of top public offices underscore the disconnect between holders of those offices and the reality – the people.

And this my friends is the concern I have for leaders. Many of our leaders lead from their positions as opposed to leading from their hearts. I believe it is time that as a leader, you start moving from your head to you heart.

My experiences and learning have continued to remind me that the most important thing in leadership is the Leader. The most important part of the Leader is his/her heart and the most important connection to a leader’s heart is God. The best leaders know that leading people means loving them. While the world continues to throw solutions at us that are built on self-empowerment, self-reliance, competition, peer pressure and performance, leading with your heart frees you to reach heights of influence you never would be able to reach otherwise.

Remember, Leadership is a journey that begins with your own transformation and progresses to you leading another person.

However, the first step to leading is examining yourself. This is at the core of true leadership. You should be able to answer two questions:

1.Whose am I? This determines the primary authority and audience in your life. The person to whom you are answerable. This is the person whom you trust and look to above all else. Your decision about whose you are changes everything. If you choose to follow Jesus, you are not on your own. You are not living to please yourself or other people.

2.Who am I? This question prompts healthy self-examination and it determines your identity and life Purpose. You were born with a God-given Purpose and plan for your life and you were created perfectly to fulfill this Purpose. This means aligning your heart, head, hands and habits.

Your answers to Whose am I and Who am I will change everything and you will lead others from that new point of view. You will gain the trust of your followers and your impact will be magnified. Stop trying you change from you outside, which is what most leadership seminars, training and books focus on behavior, style and methods. Your leadership will only improve if you change on the inside; if you get your heart right. The heart is the answer to your why. The why you lead and the reason you do what you do; your heart is home to your intentions and motivation. It is the core of who you are.

My friends, remember that the important thing about being a Leader is not what happens when you are present but what happens when the leader is absent.

In conclusion, let me ask you a question, do you put your title, the bottom line, target/goals ahead of people because people will distract you from achieving? Are you better at the technical side of leading; strategy, planning, finances etc. If you are more of a technical leader, remember that leadership is a people business.

If you are in a leadership position, do not rely on your title to convince people to follow you. Build relationships, win people over with your heart, head, hands and habits.

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Njeri MuchunuHeart Leadership